In Reality
by myLink'sLady
Summary: For my daughter Verity. A story about Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru after the manga; not my usual style and not yaoi.
1. Chapter 1

In Reality?

VILLAGE LIFE

In the months since Naraku's defeat and the ending of the Shikon no Tama, life had proceeded in regular patterns. Sango looked after her babies, Miroku and Inuyasha had formed a partnership to keep themselves busy and provide for the growing family and Rin helped Kaede under the guardianship of both Inu brothers. Also regularly, although only Shippou knew this, Inuyasha tried jumping in the well every three days to see if it worked again, only to be disappointed.

Sesshoumaru too knew that Inuyasha held onto the hope that one day the Miko would return to him; but he used his knowledge to taunt the hanyou into starting a sparring match whenever he was in the area visiting Rin. The brothers no longer fought to seriously injure one another; they had a truce after all, born from the time they had combined forces to bring down Naraku. Besides, Sesshoumaru needed someone he could trust to help him protect Rin; the Lord's ward needed to learn about human life within the village safely.

Then came the marvellous day when the well re-opened and Kagome returned to the past and Inuyasha. The couple were overjoyed to be together again and even though the well had closed for good behind her, Kagome had no regrets about her decision to leave her home to live in the past. The three years separation had been hard for her too, and her family had accepted long before the well opened that given the chance the girl would choose to go to be with her hanyou.

A couple of weeks afterwards, when all had settled down between the friends who had never thought to see her again, Kagome shared Inuyasha's hut as his mate and sat and talked with him during the day as she worked at learning to be the next Miko. Inuyasha did not worry Kagome but he would need to speak to Sesshoumaru the next time he visited Rin. When Sesshoumaru came, Kagome called out to him even though she knew he would not reply and his look of disdain was most off putting, but Inuyasha couldn't afford to wait until the next visit.

The hanyou waited until after his brother had visited with Rin and left her a brand new kimono and then he approached the Daiyoukai before he lifted off on his youki cloud to go home. Sesshoumaru watched his brother and Kagome approach and decided to wait and see what Inuyasha wanted of him. But Inuyasha wasn't quick enough to form his sentence before Sesshoumaru spoke.

"Your Miko has returned to you I see; your patience has been rewarded."

"Yes, we are now mated and I wanted to ask you if you would extend our truce to any pups Kagome and me may have."

"You are concerned about pups?"

"Yes, I know that you protect the area here when I am away and because of Rin; I'm asking you to do the same for Kagome and my pups."

"There is no need to worry about pups Inuyasha."

"Thank you, Sesshoumaru..."

"You obviously do not understand the nature of hanyou Inuyasha; there will be no pups, you are sterile and do not produce living seed."

"What...what do you mean? How the _hell_ would you know that?" Inuyasha was shocked to the core by his brother's statement.

"It is a matter of common knowledge amongst the educated, although I also know your personal scent has not the strength of life; not many hanyou reach an age where it matters, and of those that do, even fewer gain a mate. It is merely the way that nature provides to stop any further abominations."

"You still think that of me...after all we've been through?"

"Whatever I may think of you now as a person and my brother, your existence was still regrettable; hanyou should never be born."

"I'll never have pups and you still despise me; I thought...hoped perhaps..."

"We can never be more than we are now Inuyasha; I will tolerate you and your mate but that is all, and be thankful there will be no further dilution of our father's blood, that would be unacceptable." With that parting remark, Sesshoumaru left the pair without further concern over the effects his devastating words would have.

"You could be wrong; I've already proved different to other hanyou, I'm strong as a youkai." Inuyasha yelled out after his brother.

"Pray that I am not incorrect Inuyasha." Was the veiled threat of a rejoinder that reached him clearly and Inuyasha turned distressed eyes to Kagome.

"He _is _wrong Kagome; I'll show him, don't worry, we shall have as many pups as we want. I can protect them from my arrogant brother. We can move away when pups come, somewhere he won't bother looking for us if I make no trouble for him; in fact we can go now if you like. I'll bring you back to visit everybody, but we will have pups; I've always dreamed of having pups, but I never thought anyone would want to have them with me, so we'll have lots of them and make our own clan, they will never be alone I promise."

Kagome felt desperately sad for her mate as she heard him desperately trying to convince himself that Sesshoumaru was just being sadistic. However she was a girl with the benefit of the education the youkai had mentioned, and it wouldn't surprise her if Inuyasha was typical of most male hybrids of all species and unable to sire offspring. She wouldn't say this to him of course, there would be no point as nothing would be changed and as Inuyasha said, who was to say that he wouldn't be the exception to the rule.

As there was nothing she could say, Kagome merely turned to her mate and stopped his ranting by kissing him passionately and being thankful that no one was around when he immediately reacted and set out to make a pup there and then. She also just held him as he wept when the adrenalin abated, leaving him despondent and waiting for her to also condemn his heritage just as everyone eventually did. Kagome though was far wiser than when she had been left back in her own time and knew when to keep silent and told him with her body language that her love for him had not lessened because of this news.

As time went by, it seemed as if Sesshoumaru would be proven right; there was no sign of a pup for Inuyasha and Kagome. They had even asked the advice and opinion of Miroku, Sango and Kaede in case any had an idea of what could be done to help them conceive. Kagome went along with all the herbal remedies that Kaede and Sango could concoct for both her and Inuyasha, although she herself held out no hope for them to work.

They meditated and prayed for hours at a time but still nothing, although neither would concede defeat. Meantime Sango and Miroku's family expanded as another boy was born to them and it seemed that it would always be that the barren pair would only ever be able to be the fond aunt and uncle. This they did admirably, Inuyasha was always to be found with the children somewhere close by and after two years no one would have been able to see the disappointment in him, that it was not his own offspring that delighted in his Inu features.

No one but his mate of course, but they had not yet given up hope and once an idea surfaced, Inuyasha pursued it as if it were Naraku until it became accomplished. He and Miroku still worked together, it was imperative for the monk to be a good provider for his growing family and Inuyasha too had an agenda now. His was to provide Kagome with the best things he could, fine kimono and hair ornaments and items for the house. To that end he worked with Miroku, made leather and carvings and bartered meat that he had hunted.

He would not see his mate in any less finery than an orphaned human child who happened to be the ward of his youkai brother. Sesshoumaru was bemused by the rivalry; he could afford to deck the girl in silks everyday if he so wished and Inuyasha could never hope to compete, but Kagome allowed it, as it occupied her hanyou and gave him another thing to think about. When she explained this to Sesshoumaru though, he merely stated that she was as great a fool as Inuyasha if she thought he had given up the hope of a pup.

Well into the third year since becoming mates with Kagome and still no issue, Inuyasha thought of a dangerous scheme; perhaps if he could mate Kagome in his full youkai state, his youkai could pup her. Inuyasha knew that he would not hurt his mate now, he had enough control as had been seen when they had been inside Naraku during the final fight. Kagome had pulled him out of his ignorance of himself and everything else; in turn, he had saved her from falling.

But this was not something he could attempt alone, it was far too risky; not for Kagome but in case she could not bring him back to his hanyou state, then he could become a lethal uncontrolled killing machine. He first broached his idea to Miroku, wondering if the monk could think of ways to control him; forewarned being forearmed. Miroku was only willing to consider it because he knew how much his friend wanted children; a desire that only grew more intensive the longer he was denied them.

Miroku discussed this new proposal quietly with Kaede marvelling that it was Inuyasha and not Kagome who seemed so driven. It was then that Kaede told him that Kagome had suspected the truth from things she had learned in the future and was also not the one who was barren. Inuyasha's masculine pride was badly hurt and causing some of the pressure to find a solution, apart from the real desire for pups.

Unfortunately, or not, Rin casually remarked to Sesshoumaru about the plan as she had overheard them talking and as she did not know of her Lord's feelings on the subject of more hanyou pups, she had no qualms in telling him the news. Sesshoumaru's response was immediate and he left Rin and picked up his brother bodily and took him into the forest and subjected him to a severe beating that left the hanyou battered and bleeding. He now sat hugging his knees to his chest with his head down, completely ignoring his youkai brother.

Sesshoumaru observed him for a few moments, calmly assessing him until Inuyasha was ready to listen, and knowing from experience that it would have to wait until the boy was more composed. He remained silent until Inuyasha stopped growling and his anger had drained away, leaving the quieter, far more subdued hanyou fighting his pain and not his sibling.

"You really are an unmitigated fool Inuyasha. You wish for pups so much that you would risk not only your mate but your associates as well? Your selfishness astounds even This Sesshoumaru."

"I was only planning with Miroku, he thought it would work." Inuyasha said in his defence.

"You forget your friends are loyal and would do almost anything, including endanger themselves for you. A true noble thinks of his vassals' safety before himself."

"They ain't vassals, they're my friends."

"That makes what you planned worse. The monk and slayer have whelps and you would put your desires above their lives. The monk could only have approached you once you were in youkai form for the control to have effect. How would he have done that when you would be insensible of why he came to you? Did you consider that you would have to feel your life threatened to become youkai?"

"I hadn't got that far...I..."

"You ignore my advice and knowledge and instead of channelling your desires into other avenues you have dwelt on the thought of pups. You are still a child Inuyasha; let me tell you this and remember my words if you don't want to be punished again. Even as full youkai your seed would be dead, you would have more stamina only, but life cannot be transmitted to your seed by your transformation. If you go against my decision in this, know that I will kill you without fail this time; I will not stand by and let your rabid mania bring further disgrace to our house."

"You're a cruel bastard you know Sesshoumaru."

"It is not cruel to speak the truth Inuyasha; it would be more so to allow you to hope. Why do you wish for pups in any case, they would always be in peril, not the least from This Sesshoumaru?"

"Don't you ever want an heir; pups to love and have them love you?" Inuyasha ignored the threat, secretly he didn't believe that Sesshoumaru would ever kill them, after all he had never killed Inuyasha.

"I will have them one day certainly, but you have no need of an heir, you have nothing of importance to bequeath, neither lands nor property and as for love, you have your mate to supply that need. I do not feel regret that you are unable to sire pups and further diluting the family bloodline, but I do regret you cannot let the idea go." Sesshoumaru left Inuyasha sitting by the river, knowing the boy would need to bathe to ease his hurts and went back to complete his visit with Rin.

Inuyasha though, was utterly crushed; Sesshoumaru had not been cruel as such, but there was no understanding or concern for his little brother's plight. It was even more galling that his elder brother had been right to censure him for his stupidity in even contemplating a deliberate loss of control to his youkai. It was at this point he accepted that he would never know his own child and that by default Kagome too would be denied.

Inuyasha put his head down again and wept bitterly until he was found by Kagome who had been advised that Inuyasha needed her by Sesshoumaru. He had told her what he had done to her mate and the reasons why, at which point she surprised the Daiyoukai by agreeing with what he had done to Inuyasha. She was beyond angry at both Inuyasha and Miroku for considering such a gamble and was fully prepared to give her mate a piece of her mind, until she saw his distress.

Once again she just held him as he held on to her as if to a lifeline; his broken words of apology were enough, and she knew that the message had finally got through to him. Sesshoumaru's brutally blunt words had killed any hope Inuyasha had held on to in his heart; he knew that his brother was not lying to hurt him, he had no need. Kagome then learned what her brother-in-law had said to Inuyasha and she sighed, sad that there had been no gentler way to get her mate to see reason.

It was a different Inuyasha that returned from the forest with his mate than had gone in with his brother; he was sadder and wiser for one, and some of his zest for life had gone. The couple were now resigned to the fact that they would remain childless and would have to make do with the status of aunt and uncle alone.

A couple of years later when Rin turned seventeen or as near as they could tell, village life started to change; Kohaku came home and asked formally to court Sesshoumaru's ward. The Daiyoukai spoke with him for a long while allowing the young man to prove himself suitable as a husband for Rin. Kohaku had exorcised most of his self disgust, the maturing young man was at last able to see how he had been manipulated and had started to move forward with his life.

He now wanted to settle down; he had accumulated some wealth and a good reputation and felt he had prospects to offer Rin who he had come to love more each time he saw her, since she'd been a kind little girl travelling with Sesshoumaru. His aim was to restore his old village and use it as a training centre to teach others, and educate them in the knowledge to distinguish between the good and bad youkai. No longer would humans automatically assume all youkai would harm them.

It seemed a good idea and Rin was secured once Sesshoumaru heard from her own mouth that the girl was not averse to marrying the young slayer. The wedding was scheduled for the beginning of summer and Sesshoumaru generously added to the dowry of fine silks and jewellery amongst the other things that he had been gifting to the girl since he left her in the care of the older Miko.

Inuyasha and Kagome had spoken privately to Rin as well on the subject of Kohaku; they had become good friends with the young girl and she often spent nights in the home of the couple. In fact she was often to be seen hunting or practicing with the light swords alongside Inuyasha, who took time to train her. Kagome might have been a bit jealous of the relationship the two had developed while she was away, but it was always obvious that the girl was enraptured by her Lord and only looked for his likeness in Inuyasha. He spoke now;

"Rin you do not have to go through with this marriage if you don't love Kohaku; I will speak to Sesshoumaru for you."

"Kohaku is a good man and I do love him...enough to make him happy; I will be a good wife."

"No one doubts that, but I know you are not in love with him; you love _someone_ else."

"There is nothing to be done about that Inuyasha; all I can give _him_ is my obedience and loyalty, _he_ would not welcome my love."

"Perhaps given time..._he_ holds you are in the highest regard; certainly more than _his_ remaining family."

"Exactly," Rin laughed; "would you have me try to seduce _him_ and bring more hanyou into the world? Should _his_ pups be treated with the derision _he_ still treats you; or worse, as despised as you used to be?"

"_He_ would not treat his own pups so badly Rin."

"Because _he_ would never have hanyou pups; do you think _he_ doesn't know how I feel about _him_? Believe me, _he_ knows; just as _he_ knows how you would like _him_ to be more familial and that you love _him_ despite all _he_ has done and does to you."

"_He_ knows all that..?"

"Of course; I know _he_ is has been ruthless and often cruel, especially to you and _he_ can still be so in some ways despite your truce, but I love _him_ and owe _him_ my life. I will do as _he_ deems right. Kohaku will not suffer with me as his wife and he knows how I feel about Sesshoumaru, he too learned to love him."

Inuyasha had no more to say, although he couldn't help wonder what it was that enabled his brother to inspire such devotion and knowing that he too would have been the same if he'd ever been given the chance. Kagome had said nothing, she knew as well as Rin that this was the best opportunity the girl would have for a normal family life now and she and Kohaku were very good friends, and it was not unlikely they would be happy together.

TBC


	2. NEW LIFE

NEW LIFE

And so, Kohaku and Rin were married and left for the slayers village and with them went Miroku and Sango and their children. Sango was overjoyed that Kohaku wanted to settle down at last and both siblings were eager to be a family again, besides the added protection that more people offered to the new village. There were already a few other families who wished to settle there as well and as Sango said, when the firstborn arrives, Rin would welcome a friendly face.

Sesshoumaru had already agreed to provide a protector for the village and soon new houses were built and by the winter the village was thriving. Kohaku was the headman of the village and not because of Rin and Sesshoumaru, but rather it was his humility and great understanding of humans and their failings that made his wisdom older than his years.

Meanwhile Inuyasha and Kagome who had completely understood the reasons for their friend's move, found their village very quiet without the children, and it brought back how very silent their own hut was. However, their village was growing as well and Kagome had plenty to do as she helped the aging Kaede more and more. Sesshoumaru was now a more infrequent visitor as most of his spare time was taken up with his visits to Rin and Kohaku, the only two humans for whom he had any real respect.

He did occasionally visit with Inuyasha but only to find out if there were any threats that the hanyou couldn't deal with. His manner never varied from the coldly polite which was the nearest he had ever got to thawing towards Inuyasha over the years. Then when Kaede died, nothing was the same; Inuyasha had come home from one of his work jobs to find Kagome in tears because some new villagers had called her names and her honour into question.

This was something that Inuyasha had dreaded and he went to Kohaku and asked if they would be welcome to live there in the new village. This was agreed with alacrity, it would be just the thing for the villagers to learn along with a hanyou instructor, and Inuyasha wouldn't have to leave Kagome alone in an increasingly hostile environment. So Inuyasha built a new house within the village walls and prepared a place for his mate, complete with garden.

Kagome adored it, Inuyasha had corrected many of his earlier design mistakes and the house was perfect and they were both made very welcome; fortunately they had settled in just in time for the birth of Rin and Kohaku's first child which of course Kagome helped to deliver. She was a lovely baby and even Sesshoumaru held her and proclaimed that she was perfectly acceptable and he gave her a welcome present of rich furs.

This was the final straw for Inuyasha, who had been told by this very same youkai that any pups he might have had, would have been targets for death at their uncle's own claws. Sesshoumaru had never given Inuyasha and Kagome anything towards their comfort, let alone the silks and furs he had bestowed on these humans who really had no claim on him at all. Sesshoumaru noticed his sullen brother but he had no words of comfort for him, merely stating that Rin and her baby were pure humans and not dirty blooded like him.

Sesshoumaru had spoken calmly and with authority and somehow that made what he said worse; if he had spoken in anger or during a fight Inuyasha could have ignored it in some way. But he couldn't avoid the startling truth of his brother's words this time and so Inuyasha turned his back and walked away without a sound, and ignored the youkai every time that he came to visit thereafter.

This was a new experience for the Daiyoukai and he was unsure of how to deal with it; he couldn't force Inuyasha to acknowledge him, as Sesshoumaru himself had all but severed the relationship and Inuyasha owed no allegiance to his older brother. So he did what he did best and ignored Inuyasha in turn, just as he always had done. Everyone was sad at such a breach in their midst; they all had secretly been hoping that the relationship would over time improve, but it seemed such hope was in vain.

It was not to be, Inuyasha would always take a party of trainees into the forest surrounding the village to spar or hunt whenever Sesshoumaru came, and he wouldn't return with them until he felt his brother's youki leave the area. It seemed that for the first time in their mutual history Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru were truly sundered; one didn't care that this had happened, while the other was pained to his heart, but there was no solving the rift.

Kagome always listened sympathetically and with understanding to her mate once his brother had gone; it was the first time that Inuyasha had ever given up any dream that one day he and Sesshoumaru would be the siblings that their father had wished them to be. Even in the days of fighting, he had always hoped secretly that they would reconcile; now that was all gone and Inuyasha mourned for his lost family.

One such day was bright and warm and Kagome needed some herb plants for her garden. She was determined to have the same stock as Kaede had as she knew the properties of each. That meant she would have to go and get cuttings from the elderly Miko's garden and so with Inuyasha away, she asked Kirara to take her back to the old village. Kagome was certain that the new Miko, who was a previous pupil of hers, wouldn't mind her intrusion.

The two girls worked hard but enjoyed the afternoon as Kirara dozed contentedly in the sun. But there had been illness in the village and the younger Miko was run off her feet in helping from one hut to another and welcomed Kagome's offer of assistance. Kagome swiftly wrote a note to Inuyasha telling him she was staying for a couple of days and not to worry about her; but asked him not to come as the village was now not used to youkai around.

Her missive written and her love sent with it, Kagome gave the letter to Kirara and asked her to return for her in two days; although she knew that it would be Inuyasha who came for her and despite her request it would probably be tomorrow, knowing him. She smiled with fondness, neither of them liked to be apart for long. In fact they had hardly spent a day away from each other and rarely overnight, but Inuyasha would be tired from keeping the trainees on their toes all day, the rest would do him good.

Unfortunately, Inuyasha was injured; one of the trainees had taken good advantage of some momentary distraction and got in a sword thrust, ending the sparring for the day. As it was the end of the day in any case, Inuyasha allowed Sango to bandage him up while he read Kagome's letter. He hated that she wouldn't be with him that night but he was soon asleep, under the influence of some pain killing herbs.

That night when the villages both slept, a large band of bandits rode into the old village and rounded everyone up before all the defences could be gathered. They wanted food and drink first and then once their appetites were filled, the appetite for their lust surfaced and they brought out all the young women. Kagome stood firm with her arrow at the ready, she and the other Miko had not been herded with the others, but neither girl could just stand by and watch.

The bandits however merely laughed at them until one girl was grabbed and an arrow felled her assaulter. One of the village men called out that the bandits had better watch out, Kagome was the famous Miko who was mated to the hanyou Inuyasha. She heard the mutters of disgust from the bandits and several called out that she _'would be their first; youkai whore.'_ Kagome knew better than to react but her pride in Inuyasha wouldn't stand for the insult.

"My mate would kill you all if you harmed any hair of my head or any of these others. Leave now for your own safety." Suddenly to the horror of the other Miko and the rest of the villagers, Kagome dropped like a stone, a knife to her ribs that the leader of the bandits had expertly thrown as he called her a 'youkai whore' once more. In the slayer's village, Inuyasha was roused by a surreal dream of an ancient priestess who told him he needed to go to his mate.

Inuyasha, heeded the dream, and left to find Kagome instantly; reaching her just in time to catch her last loving smile as she died, his name on her lips. Inuyasha lifted his head and howled in an instinctive call to family for help, and far away his brother heard him. It was only minutes before Sesshoumaru arrived in his light ball of youki and without asking questions or waiting for his brother to beg his assistance, the Daiyoukai slashed Tenseiga over Kagome's body in effort to restore her life. But instead of the deep breath of returning consciousness a pink effervescence wrapped itself around the blade of Tenseiga and the sweet voice of Kagome spoke from within it.

"Tenseiga won't work Inuyasha My Beloved; although I thank you for trying Sesshoumaru. I have been told that the vestiges of the jewel that let me come back to you, must take me once more to the time I was born in. You have to bury me here and my grave will appear seventy years on from the time I lived before. I have only been lent to you and I had to return at my death. Inuyasha, I have always loved you and I shall never stop doing so; My Love, we will meet again one day."

The pink vanished into Kagome's body and the voice died away; it was not truly Kagome's own voice or even her words, some of them Inuyasha recognised as in the style of the dream Miko who had warned him and he thought it was Midoriko. These thoughts flew across his mind even as he looked despairingly into his brother's face and the tears ran down his cheeks. He shook her and called to her, beseeching Sesshoumaru to keep trying with the sword of healing.

Impassively Sesshoumaru did try again, even though he knew as no one else could do, that it was futile. But in the end he put the sword away and turned his back on his brother and his mate to allow Inuyasha to grieve privately. When he saw Sesshoumaru sheathe the sword, Inuyasha collapsed across his mate and sobbed; as far as he was concerned, his world had just ended and he had nothing left to go on for, no hope at all.

Soon though, Sesshoumaru was losing his patience; he didn't understand the need for Inuyasha to grieve so hard. There was nothing now that could alter what had happened and the female needed to be buried and he supposed that there would be some ceremony for that as well. At least he needn't attend, but he did feel he should aid his brother to get her back to their new home. He gave the order for her to be prepared for burial while he and his brother caught up with the bandits who had vanished when they arrived.

"Inuyasha, dry those tears now; they are of no use to your mate and they make you weak when you should be strong and seeking vengeance." He pulled Inuyasha up and wiped his face roughly before pushing him out of the door of the hut and allowing the women in who would take care of Kagome's body. Inuyasha let his grief transmute into the anger he needed to keep himself strong and able to move, and followed his brother into the night easily following the trail of the fleeing bandits.

It took very little time to catch them; the bandits were still riding hard trying to outdistance the youkai. At this point in time it would have been hard to tell the brother's apart were you only to go by their faces; Inuyasha was as expressionless as his brother and despite Tessaiga's control, his eyes were glowing with a ruby light. When it became obvious that Sesshoumaru and Inuyasha had them trapped the men turned to fight; their leader sneering, _'which of you did the bitch of a whore belong too?'_

Inuyasha for once didn't rise to the bait and the man watched as he was stalked by the angry Inu hanyou. He also watched as the two poisoned knives he threw with deadly accuracy failed to penetrate the fire rat of Inuyasha and didn't make him as much as blink the unnerving reddened eyes. He watched as Sesshoumaru decimated the rest of his brigade and then as Inuyasha slashed his razor like claws down across the man's chest and arms, he watched as his life blood gushed from his body and his severed arms.

That was how the youkai left them, bodies torn apart and their leader left to die from blood loss and shock; left as a warning to any others and proof that this particular band would be no further danger to women in the area and villages would be safe from their plunder. Tessaiga was already beginning to regain its firm hold on Inuyasha's soul and his eyes were fully amber again; that also meant that his youki was also abating and leaving him back in his new reality where Kagome was dead and gone.

As they neared the village once more, Inuyasha started to hang back; he didn't want to face what awaited him. Sesshoumaru sensed his brother's reluctance but ignored it; nothing was going to change just because Inuyasha didn't want to face the truth. Then the Daiyoukai noticed something in the village, and turned to Inuyasha to tell him that his monk companion and the fire cat were waiting for him. In the light of that, Sesshoumaru decided to stay outside the perimeter and hunt while Inuyasha went to see why Miroku was here.

In fact Miroku had left the village not too long after Inuyasha; he had felt his friend's agitated aura but thought not a lot of that, the hanyou was often restless when Sesshoumaru had been around. However when he felt the release of all the spiritual energy and the hint of the Shikon jewel he had immediately followed Inuyasha to the old village; an ominous feeling growing in his heart. His worst fear was of course confirmed when he found the women who had looked after Kagome and listened to what had happened.

Now he awaited the return of Inuyasha but as he knew that the two brothers were together, Miroku didn't overly worry about Inuyasha turning feral in his grief; he would soon know for sure as he could now feel them close by. Therefore he waited outside the main village so that Inuyasha would see him first and understand that he didn't have to go through the further agony of telling his friends what had transpired.

Miroku could see by the torchlight that Inuyasha's eyes were haunted and he already knew that Tenseiga hadn't worked. When the hanyou came to meet him Miroku moved forward and gripped the hanyou round the arms and Inuyasha nearly collapsed, but he looked around quickly at his brother and pulled away to stand straight. Miroku understood, he realised Inuyasha would feel shame at any emotional display near to Sesshoumaru.

A wave of anger rushed through Miroku at the Daiyoukai, Inuyasha needed his brother, his family, the most at the moment; but Sesshoumaru was either oblivious or he didn't care that the hanyou was in despair. It was probably a bit of both, but there was nothing that the monk could do or say that either of the Inu would thank him for. All he could do was make Inuyasha understand that he would do all that he could to help, and that included going to fetch Sango and Shippou, Rin and Kohaku right away.

It was all Inuyasha could do to hold himself together when his two closest friends arrived in great shock at the news Miroku had had for them. Sango wept for her sister and Shippou for his surrogate mother as they paid tribute to the Miko who had done so much for them all. The whole village turned out for the funeral and the eventual burying of Kagome's ashes in a shaded area just south of the bone eater well. This was the worst time for Inuyasha; the interment was the final realisation that Kagome was truly gone and he would never see her or hold her again.

The most Sesshoumaru could offer his brother by way of consolation was to attend the ceremony which Miroku conducted. His words were loving and complimentary and extended the condolences of all of them to Inuyasha. He was to be made welcome at any of his friends' homes whenever he wished and was assured of their love. This was not strictly part of the service, but Miroku knew that Inuyasha could still feel insecure of friendship, and suspicious that kindness could be offered to him apart from his mate.

Inuyasha gained strength from Sesshoumaru however, knowing that his brother would scorn any display of weakness stopped him from showing his grief, and he was sensible of the honour the youkai showed him by staying. But all too soon, it was over and everyone started to leave and go to their homes. Inuyasha had not felt so lonely since his mother died; for even when Kagome was locked in the future he knew she was alive and he had always kept a small kindled flame that she could return to him.

Before he left, Sesshoumaru spoke to Miroku;

"You will watch over Inuyasha until he is accustomed to his loss monk."

"Of course Lord Sesshoumaru, Inuyasha is our close friend and always will be welcome. But My Lord, it would encourage him more should you be able to take an interest in him."

"This Sesshoumaru has no time to coddle a hanyou who too often favours his human heart where his emotions are concerned. He should rely on his youkai for strength, but it matters not; he is happiest with his friends."

"He needs his family Lord Sesshoumaru; forgive me My Lord but is it impossible for you to ..." Miroku knew he was on dangerous ground but was willing to risk his life for Inuyasha who had sacrificed so much for all of them. But he was unable to continue in the light of Sesshoumaru's face, the lord's icy expression was unreadable although he could appreciate Miroku's loyalty to Inuyasha.

"Inuyasha and This Sesshoumaru are not family monk; we are blood brothers it is true, but we are not family. We were not brought up together and have nothing in common. Neither of us wishes it to be any different." Then Sesshoumaru walked away, although he heard Miroku murmur _'you are wrong.'_ He didn't deign to answer, as Inuyasha was watching him leave, having also overheard the conversation. The hanyou's eyes always gave him away and now allowed the elder brother to see the truth of the monk's words.

"Your friends will care for you far more than I can Inuyasha; I do not have the inclination to deal with your grief. I do not understand the need for your tears."

"No, you only ever put up with Rin."

"She is human, and I realise they do show their misery in such a way; she was entitled to act as a human. You are different; I never tolerated any of your human propensities as a child, I will not do so now."

"Goodbye Sesshoumaru; I shall not ask for your aid ever again, although I thank you for trying to help Kagome. I wish you well in your life but do not expect to see you again." With that Inuyasha gathered his dignity and left to go back to the slayer's village and his own home.

"That remains to be seen Little Brother." Sesshoumaru replied; but he spoke so quietly that no one heard him and then he left on his youki cloud, back to his home and business in the West. Sesshoumaru though, was bothered by Inuyasha's farewell; and immediately sent a guard to keep careful but discreet watch on the hanyou to remain unseen by him or anyone else. He might not fully understand his brother at times, but the frame of mind Inuyasha was in due to the loss of his mate was not unusual in any species.

TBC


	3. SINGLE LIFE

SINGLE LIFE

Inuyasha resisted always being at either of his friends' houses overnight; it was not fair on any of them and he started as he meant to go on, by being independent. But Sango and Rin insisted that they took turns to bring him a hot meal in the evening; although he rarely ate more than a mouthful, and for the first week he slept in trees every night as he couldn't stay in his futon without Kagome.

One night, when Sango took him his meal she found the poor hanyou curled up in the futon with his mate's pillow in his arms, his heart breaking. Inuyasha had found that Kagome's scent was getting fainter in the piece of fabric he carried at all times and he had needed to find some more. The only place was in their shared room and he became overwhelmed with his loss and collapsed in sorrow on the bedding.

Sango went to him without hesitation, she was now a mother and well used to coping with her children's upsets, although none were as intense as this yet. She knelt by his side and patted his back soothingly until he sat up and turned to her in anguish. There were no words she could say that would make him feel better, except to say he was loved and with friends at all times as she held him in her arms. That was how Miroku found them and he left Sango comforting their friend while he made a fire for tea and light to make the home more cosy.

When he returned with the drinks, he found Sango stroking the hanyou's head gently as he slept properly for the first time since Kagome died. The couple drank their tea and then Miroku said that he would stay with Inuyasha for the night to make sure that he didn't wake up alone. He went to sit by the wall while Sango went back to her children.

Inuyasha awoke late in the morning to the smell of food cooking and Sango and Miroku; then all the previous evening came back to him and he was greatly embarrassed. He heard Miroku chuckle slightly and recognised that the monk was in the room with him; Inuyasha turned to find his friend sitting by the wall and drinking tea. Then Sango came in with a dish of tea for him as well and Inuyasha blushed as he started to apologise.

"There is nothing to be sorry about my friend; you have every reason to weep." Miroku said gently.

"Feh! My brother would not agree with you and he is right; it's a weakness in any youkai."

"Then he is incorrect; it is merely that Lord Sesshoumaru has trained himself not to exhibit any emotion that makes him think that way. I would imagine the loss of his father was his greatest grief and he could not afford to show it in any way, out of concern that his advisors would think him a child unfit to rule."

"What would you know of all that."

"I studied your father's reign and history in the monastery; Sesshoumaru was only adolescent when he came to rule, it is he who is stunted in emotion and has turned it into strength. Unfortunately that has meant cutting off from any emotional attachment to family and becoming the cold and calculating individual we know."

"You learned all that; what else do you know about my dad?"

"Only what is common knowledge; he was a mighty lord, courageous and daring with amazing political skills and understanding of all sorts of creatures. He was also portrayed as having a sense of humour and love of all life."

"It don't sound much like Sesshoumaru got a lot of his personality." Inuyasha said thoughtfully and Miroku agreed, privately thinking that the younger of the general's sons was more like the father in nature.

"From what I remember of things Totousai and Myouga have said, it seems your father was afraid this would happen, knowing the stoic nature of his son, and that is why he taught his son that compassion was also needed in ruling. Sesshoumaru is learning this, but it will take time."

"Too long for him to accept me with any enthusiasm; still, who needs him?" Inuyasha hid behind his fringe for a moment and then looked up as Sango came in with a bowl of soup for each of them. Inuyasha was hungry for the first time in over a week and Sango refilled his bowl, then when he had finished, she embraced him tenderly again and ruffled his hair before leaving to claim her children from Rin.

For five years Inuyasha lived at the village helping train the youngsters that arrived and keeping a guardian eye on his friends. But he didn't see Sesshoumaru in all that time even though the Daiyoukai kept up his visits to Rin; although they were further apart now, perhaps two or three times a year. He came each time there was a new child and Rin now had four and each one had a dowry or land bestowed on them by the Western Lord.

Even though they did not see one another, each asked about the other; inquiring from the humans in what they thought were surreptitious ways, and which in reality made their friends feel sorrow for them both. It was obvious that they would both mend this rift if they could, Inuyasha was always miserable after his brother's visit and Sesshoumaru pretended he didn't care that Inuyasha was there or not.

But the time had now come for the two to meet again; Sesshoumaru had momentous news and true to form and this time for the correct reasons, he spoke first with Rin. Sesshoumaru was to take a mate; she was a full Inu youkai and she had been residing at his mother's palace for the last two years while he had courted her and made a place for her in the Western Palace. He chose a day when he knew Kohaku would be absent and Sango always had the children for Rin when her Lord came to visit.

Rin congratulated him and made all the appropriate comments and asked all the right questions and he in turn told her that his mate to be was indeed very lovely and with an impeccable pedigree; none of his advisors and allies could fault her as his bride and Lady. Their offspring would undoubtedly be strong, beautiful and highly intelligent, as was only to be expected of any pups with their combined genes.

He left her then to go and find Inuyasha to tell him the same news and ask him to look in on Rin to make sure she was alright, knowing how human females get all emotional at the thought of a wedding. Besides he thought that it still might be an unwelcome shock to her as he had understood that she had been in love with him before she married Kohaku. Although Inuyasha was not happy to see his brother, he did agree to check on Rin; after all he had a lot in connection with her now, they had both been discarded in some way by Sesshoumaru.

Rin seemed fine and was making her supper when Inuyasha knocked to enter; after he came in she offered that he stay and eat with her. Over the meal they talked about the forthcoming mating with perfect equanimity, until Inuyasha held out his arms and Rin rushed into them and let a storm of tears fall on his breast. It didn't take long for Inuyasha to join her; he hadn't held a woman in his arms since Kagome died.

There was no need for explanations or recriminations, they both knew and understood the emotions involved on either side. Inuyasha had never been wanted by his brother unless he was useful and Rin now knew what it felt like to have her dread realised; both had wanted more from the youkai, more than he could give their human hearts. Inuyasha had only one bitter thought for Rin's comfort;

"Kohaku is better for you in every way Rin; I watched firsthand the trials of a mother with a hanyou child, the disgusting names she is called, the terrible way she is treated; my mother...even Kagome heard...I'm glad you are spared."

"I would have endured; just as your mother did, just as Kagome did; both out of love for you would have done the same thing over again. Now I have no hope..."

"At least you have the love of a decent man Rin; and whether or not he mated you, you still have Sesshoumaru's love...that's more than I ever had. You have your mate and pups...make the most of them while you have them." Inuyasha sounded angry and Rin was immediately contrite; she had known this time would come and she was happy with Kohaku and wouldn't trade her children for anything.

"Forgive me Inuyasha, it just took me by surprise...I didn't mean to sound..."

"I know Rin; I understand perfectly." Inuyasha smiled ruefully at her but for Rin it was a turning point; the little glimmer of hope she had carried for all this time without even knowing it died, Sesshoumaru was completely out of her reach now and eventually it helped her mind to settle solely on Kohaku. Rin started to chat happily about making a special meal for her husband when he came home the next day and soon Sango came back with the children and they all sat chatting and drinking tea.

In fact Kohaku came home earlier than was expected; he had met up with Miroku and both returned after working successfully together. The atmosphere was great, the children all were excited and noisy and an impromptu party was started in Rin and Kohaku's hut. If Kohaku noticed the extra warmth in Rin's smile for him he didn't comment, but just held her tighter and loved her more. That night when the children had gone to bed in their own homes, the two couples celebrated their safe returns.

Inuyasha had left earlier on after staying for the celebration; he couldn't stay where he could hear and scent the private celebrations and his own home was just too empty of joy. So instead he ran, running through the trees and eventually finding Goshinboku he leapt to the higher branches and sat looking at the moon and stars in the midnight blue sky. He had never felt so lonely, even when he had been truly alone it hadn't been as bad as this. Because now he knew what it meant to be loved and to have the companionship of a mate; he knew what he was missing and although Kagome had been gone over five years he thought of and longed for her every day and night.

Inuyasha wrapped his arms around his bent knees and rested his head on them with a sigh; his hair hung like a curtain and he dreamed of Kagome with his pups, but his imagination would only take him so far. When it blew them all away in a pink bubble, he let nature take its course and broke down in tears; he felt so alone with all his friends having their families and now Sesshoumaru too would settle down and sire pups.

"You weep again Inuyasha; surely you have no cause. I am aware of nothing that has harmed you. Is this some human trait you cling to?" he waited patiently for Inuyasha to be composed enough to answer. Sesshoumaru had stayed around to see how Rin took his news before leaving and had stayed until Inuyasha had left the house.

"Sesshoumaru, I came here to be alone and I do not deserve your condemnation once more for being hanyou." Inuyasha said without fighting; he had given up verbal sparring with his brother just as he had the physical, he could see no point to it anymore. It hadn't made any positive difference to their relationship as Kagome had hoped; she had thought they would become closer but it had not proved to be. Sesshoumaru however pondered on the lack of volatile response.

"Your weakness does not come from your youkai inheritance Inuyasha." He said smugly and once again awaited a reply, not admitting even to himself that he enjoyed any sparring with his brother.

"Do you mean to tell me you have never shed tears in your life? You have never been hurt, scared of the dark, never been hungry or found nobody there when you needed them? You didn't cry even when father was killed?"

"Of course, as a child there were times...but you are no longer such a small pup even if you are still very young."

"I am hanyou, besides it was Kagome who taught me that to feel was a strength in itself. She didn't care what I was and she helped me to accept who I am as well. I know you despise my human blood, but I don't care what you think of me any longer; my mother was human, but she had great courage and strength when everyone else discarded her. Hell, I don't even know if she had to fight father for the right to keep me.

"I will not be ashamed of her gift of my humanity any more than I am ashamed of my youkai that Kikyou wished me to renounce. I can't help what I am, but I no longer make apologies to myself for it either and I have never let anyone else look down on me without a fight, since Mama died."

"Very well, what has caused your upset now then?"

"Nothing you would understand Sesshoumaru; I ain't being disrespectful to you, but you wouldn't understand."

"I still require an answer Inuyasha."

"I miss Kagome, I miss not having pups; everyone else...I'm not jealous and I am happy that my friends have mates and children...I'm even happy that you have found someone too, but I am so alone. Still that's what you say all hanyou should be isn't it? We don't deserve any care or love."

"It is not so much 'deserve' as such, but a hanyou is seen as a taint by both human and youkai; each consider you tainted by the other."

"Never to be accepted for the person we are, is that right?"

"Essentially that is so; there are exceptions, your parents, and your mate, even now your brother recognises your right to life."

"You mean a permanent truce?"

"You can consider it such yes; in fact I wanted to ask you to consider a proposition."

"Keh!"

"It is time you came home to the West; the dynasty of This Sesshoumaru is about to commence and my brother should also be a part of that. I understand from the monk that you need family and you will find a family with us; it may not be what you are used too, but it is your birthright. I would of course have to mark you as under my protection and that would mean obedience to me as your Lord. It should be something you consider carefully."

Inuyasha wasn't sure by what Sesshoumaru meant when he said a type of family he was not used too; Inuyasha had never really had any family life apart from when he was a little whelp with his mother, and when he'd been mated to Kagome. Neither had lasted long enough to erase the memory of the complete neglect and solitude he had known. Anything was better than that surely?

"I would still be able to see my friends?"

"Of course, I do not intend to hold you captive."

"Then I'll come."

"You do not need time to think; perhaps discuss this with your friends? Are you always so precipitous? What am I saying, you have always been an impulsive pup; you have one week and I shall return for you." Sesshoumaru left without so much as a backward glance and Inuyasha went back to his house to think over the way his life could change now.

They would not miss him so much in the village; he could still come back and train new recruits, once a month perhaps. Then he thought that his friends would probably be relieved that he wasn't around and making them worry about him, as he knew they did. With his excellent hearing Inuyasha had inadvertently overheard many times when they had discussed him; so he felt justified in saying to himself that they would be pleased that his situation with Sesshoumaru was somewhat resolved.

That night Inuyasha packed a large basket with his few clothes and some mementoes of Kagome and he felt a twinge of sadness that he still had not much to show for his life with her. It was true that he had more now than when he lived alone; she had made him clothing and had given him gifts, none of which he would be parted from, but it was still only a small amount of belongings. The rest, his memories of her and their life together were all in his head; to be recalled whenever he wished and he did so often. Kagome was very much alive in Inuyasha's heart and mind.

As he had expected, his friends all wanted to know what had been said between the brothers before they would give their blessings to his departure. Inuyasha could discern the genuine love that was in their questions and concern for him; even Rin, who adored her Lord Sesshoumaru, was not blind to the arrogance and manipulations said Lord was capable of, and unashamedly used to suit his own purposes.

The hanyou was almost overwhelmed when he thought of his friends care for him and he realised how lucky he was when so many hanyou never reached his age. He was still amazed sometimes when he remembered that they loved him for himself and not just because of Kagome's influence. He wouldn't forget them when he moved to the Palace and promised to keep his word that he would continue to train and teach.

At the end of the week, Inuyasha had said his goodbyes and was waiting for Sesshoumaru outside the village stockade; choosing to spare his stoic brother any of the human sentiments that would be unavoidable in their farewells. Sesshoumaru was on time of course and he had brought Ah-Un with him to transport Inuyasha's possessions. It didn't take long to tie the basket to the saddle and if Sesshoumaru were surprised at the small size of his brother's luggage he didn't comment.

"Before we leave Inuyasha; I must mark you, do you accept?" Sesshoumaru knew this was a hard thing for his brother to do and was prepared to be patient; but all Inuyasha did was swallow and then nod his assent. Sesshoumaru gently pulled Inuyasha's hair backwards and thereby his head so that the boy's throat was exposed and then he put his elongated fangs either side of Inuyasha's neck.

Drawing only the merest hint of blood to make the mark, Sesshoumaru's fangs then made two pairs of tramlines towards the front and then bit harder under his brother's chin making a circle of tooth marks. The resulting bruising would heal to make a hardly visible, choker like scar of cobalt blue; heavy with the scent of Sesshoumaru. Inuyasha had not moved or been overly concerned while his brother did this, even with the extreme vulnerability of his position and Sesshoumaru appreciated (while marvelling at), the level of trust given him.

"You will now be safe at the Palace Inuyasha; you are under my protection."

"Thank you, brother." Was all he said, although his heart was full at the knowledge he was leaving his friends and Kagome for the unknown Palace in the West.

TBC


	4. PALACE LIFE

4

PALACE LIFE

The walk back to the Palace was neither uncomfortable nor silent; both brothers spoke with the other but not too personally. Certainly Inuyasha had questions respecting his future sister-in-law and Sesshoumaru was willing to list her family ties, but nothing else was forthcoming. That she was strong, highly intelligent and beautiful was all he was prepared to say in various ways. Inuyasha wanted to know what she was like, was she nice, kind, good with children; what did she like doing, her hobbies?

Sesshoumaru just said that these things were not necessary for Inuyasha to know and the hanyou for once kept quiet, suspecting that Sesshoumaru was just as in the dark about her as his brother. Sesshoumaru however did expand on his answer;

"None of these things are essential to know before mating occurs; she is healthy and will birth good pups and her references in matters such as tolerance of infants, is documented." Sesshoumaru had the grace to look a bit pink on his cheeks and Inuyasha couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"What about compatibility, don't you care if she even likes you or not?"

"Of course, that is why we court, but it is not essential to have mutual attraction; what is more important is how well she is connected politically and that she will heed me as her Alpha. As Lord of the West I am not as free as you to make a complete choice based only on reciprocated desire."

"Still you must have some idea of what she's like; you have spoken to her?"

"In the company of chaperones only; I will not know what she is really like as a person until we are mated. But it matters not; I already know that she is suitable as my Lady." It was more than he had ever got from Sesshoumaru before and Inuyasha shut up so as not to push his luck. It was exciting and for once Inuyasha thought he had a new life to look forward to, and it was enough to take his mind of his aching loneliness for once.

Sesshoumaru had announced to his staff before he left the palace that Inuyasha was to live there and that he was mark protected; so when they arrived neither of them had to face surprised or disapproving stares. In fact there were very few servants around when they entered the palace; or rather not many to be seen, Jaken however was in evidence and he was told to escort Inuyasha to his rooms.

To his amazement, Inuyasha found he had been afforded his old suite from the days when he and his mother had lived in the Palace; days before they had escaped from the intolerable hostility of the ever watchful and predatory youkai who lived there. He was told to settle in and be ready for dinner in two hours. There was a built in bath and a closet full of new kimono, mainly in the reds and darker colours he favoured and he realised that Sesshoumaru had chosen them especially for him.

Inuyasha had a good long soak and then before dressing smartly for dinner as he knew he couldn't always wear his trusty fire rat, he set out his belongings around the suite. Getting lost in memories as each thing was found a new home, he nearly missed the warning for dinner and it wouldn't be polite to be late. So he grabbed the kimono he had chosen and pulled it together quickly, hoping that Sesshoumaru wouldn't mind that he hadn't put shoes on his feet.

Inuyasha found he was not the only newcomer to the table; he didn't recognise the others but one had to be Sesshoumaru's mother and the other, a stunning beauty, was surely his brother's intended. Two others were obviously a chaperone and perhaps a sister of the new Lady to be. As he entered the dining hall, all eyes turned to him and he could feel their gazes on him as they weighed him up, and suddenly he felt the lack of his protective fire rat.

"Greetings, hanyou son of my mate." The female with the crescent moon exactly like Sesshoumaru's spoke, as she appraised him instantly and then she smiled gently.

"This is Sesshoumaru's half brother? You are Inuyasha? Welcome to the house of the West, we are awaiting on My Lord." This from the female Inu; who was soon introduced by Sesshoumaru's mother as the Lady Yukaiko. Inuyasha bowed to both of the ladies as his brother entered the room.

"I see you have been introduced; that is good, now we should eat." Once Sesshoumaru had sat down and started to eat, the others joined in and soon the dinner was underway with much chat and small talk between all parties. Inuyasha was aware though that many curious glances were thrown his way, and soon he had the attention of Sesshoumaru's mother, the Dowager Lady of the West.

"So you are the half-breed my mate sired on his human pet; very pretty, you have some of his look." Her tone was imperious but without rancour and that was what alarmed Inuyasha the most; her anger he would have understood. "I never understood this need for pets that you and your father had Sesshoumaru; at least however you mated your two together and didn't make the mistake your father did, by taking her and thereby causing another of these half-breeds."

"Of course not Mother; I am not completely like father, I inherited many of your traits too."

"For that I am very thankful; I am sure Lady Yukaiko would not be happy if you had any bastards running loose about the country. It makes for so much trouble."

"The Lady Yukaiko may set her mind at rest on that score; This Sesshoumaru has no issue, hanyou or otherwise as of this moment." Sesshoumaru smiled at his soon to be Lady and she smiled demurely back. Inuyasha was silent, he knew that in a way he was being tested by these high youkai and he wouldn't cause himself shame by running away. But they were not talking to him, but about him as if he was not present, and he felt the full weight of their deliberate rudeness keenly.

"I notice too that you have marked the boy; why would you do that after so long?"

"Inuyasha is to live here Mother; his mate was killed and I have promised him his family, besides, he would not be considered safe without the mark."

"True, but surely he never has been 'safe' as you so quaintly put it."

"Inuyasha and I have come to terms now and he is my brother, despite his unfortunate makeup."

"I am sure that your brother is grateful for your attention Lord Sesshoumaru." Added Lady Yukaiko with a smile towards the hanyou who was now staring at his plate and had gone off his food; although to the lady it seemed he was just a picture of humility. Until that is he stood up and with a bow said he had to leave as he had finished his meal and had things to do.

"Sit down Inuyasha; you may not leave until I do and at this moment I am conversing. I know you do not have formal training but that will be addressed." Sesshoumaru didn't sound angry, but Inuyasha knew that could and would change if he was disobedient and the meaning of his mark was becoming plain, he must honour it. So he sat and endured for another hour before he was dismissed to his suite.

While he was changing for bed, Inuyasha took a look around his new home with its splashes of Kagome and sighed a heavy sigh; he also tried to forget the conversation at dinner that hadn't included him, although the others had spoken of little else. As he caught sight of himself in one of the rooms full length mirrors, Inuyasha looked at his mark; it had faded greatly, now it looked just silvery indigo, as if fine wire had been etched to his throat. But he supposed it would fade even more as time went by, he could smell Sesshoumaru's mark from their father but he couldn't see it.

In the week leading up to the mating banquet Inuyasha tried to keep from being underfoot all of the time; in fact for the latter half of the week he kept to his rooms as he was unwanted anywhere else. Rin and Kohaku found him there on the day before the mating and they had tea together in the small, but private garden of his suite. They already knew that they were to sit together for the ceremony; they had all heard that the 'pets of the palace' were to be kept safe at all costs.

Inuyasha had been informed that he was not to take part in the ceremony; the fact that he was Sesshoumaru's brother made no difference. He had found out just where he stood when he had tried to get to know Lady Yukaiko; taking it upon himself to ask her some polite questions. She had told him that he might be Sesshoumaru's half brother, but that did not allow him to think he was her brother-in-law or any relation at all; he was just a hanyou by-blow who had been given asylum due to his need and heritage.

She said it in a laughing way as if Inuyasha was absurd to think he could have a place in their lives and Sesshoumaru didn't berate her for her discourtesy but carried on talking as if he hadn't heard. Until that is she started to discuss how Inuyasha would be moved out of the Royal Quarters when she came to live in them. Then Sesshoumaru stepped in, but it was only a test for her submission.

"You will accord my brother the honour of a marked member of this household My Lady; know too that his suite of rooms belong to him, they were given to him and his mother by my father."

"My apologies of course My Lord, and I would never turn Inuyasha out of his own home." The lady smiled at Sesshoumaru and Inuyasha could tell that her words were genuine; she was not conniving by nature. But the attitude was hardly new for the hanyou, he had heard it all of his life, perhaps she would mellow as time went by as Sesshoumaru had done; he was prepared to give her the benefit of the doubt.

He could honestly tell Rin and Kohaku that the lady was lovely to look at and seemed to have a nice nature in the main. He didn't go into great detail about her attitude to him, but he didn't need to, Rin saw with understanding in her eyes, all the things he was not saying. They laughed about their collective name and whiled away time by joking between them and wondering if the 'pets' would have silk cushions to sit on, as some of the real pets of the human emperors did.

Then there was a knock at the door and Sesshoumaru entered, Lady Yukaiko on his arm; she had wanted to meet the human 'pets'. As she saw them enter, Rin knew this was how things should be; the pair were right for each other, just as she and Kohaku were. They were absolutely beautiful and for the first time Rin could rejoice genuinely along with her Lord. She would always hold a very special place in his heart but it was not the place of his mate, and it never had been as far as he was concerned.

The Lady and the two humans got on very well, she had not had much contact with humans in her life and the new experience was something she enjoyed. Rin too finally released any bitterness she might still have left in her heart and Sesshoumaru could see again the sunny child he had adopted in the woman he had denied. Meanwhile Rin was quickly entrancing Lady Yukaiko as she introduced her husband and spoke of their children.

Inuyasha was glad that things seemed sorted out for Rin, but he couldn't fail to notice that the lady's eyes had warmed up greatly while she was speaking with her, but had hardened drastically when she had caught sight of him again. He was not surprised, just saddened that his brother's mate could not see past the ears that screamed 'hanyou'. The visit lasted about an hour and then they left, leaving Rin and Kohaku to talk with Inuyasha about the lovely lady that Sesshoumaru would take as mate the next day.

To Inuyasha's great surprise, in the morning and after breakfast and his bath, a new kimono was hanging ready for him to put on. It was silk, a luxury he had never known, although he had given silk to Kagome and mainly a deep red that was slightly darker than his usual fire rat. The accents were in brilliant white and were the familiar flowered pattern of the House of the West, and Inuyasha knew that his brother would be wearing the exact opposite colours as he always did when representing his House.

Inuyasha was speechless at this honour; he had not expected this from Sesshoumaru in light of his mate's reluctance to accept him as family. Then he realised that Sesshoumaru was alpha and his decisions were to be final in his household and that of course included the tempestuous little brother; although he too would be bound by his alpha now.

But that was not all; an hour later there was a knock on the door frame followed by the Daiyoukai himself dressed in his usual colours, diametrically opposite to his brother's costume. Sesshoumaru nodded his approval of Inuyasha's grooming; the boy's hair shone silkily and had been left loose as was his brother's own hair. Inuyasha actually looked like the younger son of a Lord and would not be further disapproved.

Sesshoumaru had decided against wearing a high ponytail in the manner of his father and was pleased that Inuyasha too had refused the style. He would have looked too like his father had he done so, and that might have caused difficulties in some quarters, especially with his mother around. She might have made some disconcerting comments and Inuyasha unfortunately could often be goaded into action, without thinking of the consequences.

The brothers looked appraisingly at one another and their own similarities were very obvious to the casual observer. To Inuyasha it seemed that Sesshoumaru came to a decision based on what he saw in his brother's demeanour; it seemed that his older brother approved of him for once. The full youkai called to Jaken and the imp entered carrying a white silk cushion, highlighted in the ubiquitous red flowered pattern; a jewelled casket sat in the middle of it.

"Inuyasha, this is a gift I wish to present my mate; I want you to look after it and bring it to me when I look to you, immediately after the ceremony. Will you do this?"

"Of course Sesshoumaru...but your mate won't like it if I do this, she..."

"The Lady Yukaiko is more favourably disposed towards you now Inuyasha and it is something _I_ wish you to do. My Mate will learn to tolerate your company for my sake, if not your own."

"It will be nice to be part of your ceremony Sesshoumaru." Inuyasha watched as Sesshoumaru swept out of his room and was glad to be alone again. It had hurt him to be excluded and to know that two of Sesshoumaru's male cousins would stand beside him instead of the little brother; but Inuyasha was happy that Sesshoumaru remembered him, even if he was reduced to no more than an overgrown page boy.

Inuyasha blinked back the moisture from his eyes that his thoughts had provoked; it would not be auspicious for the saline to cling to him on a mating day and Sesshoumaru would certainly not be pleased if he scented it. Inuyasha had a feeling that he would wish to cry fairly often if he lived at the palace, but he would not indulge in tears. Kagome may have set him free emotionally but he no longer lived with her and although he would not go back to being as suppressed as he used to be, he was still constrained.

The ceremony went perfectly, Sesshoumaru and Yukaiko were a beautiful pair, a sentiment held unanimously by the company. Inuyasha even got a genuine smile from the new lady when he brought up his brother's gift; he stood straight and proud, without faltering once under the critical gaze of all the full Inu Youkai, who were a good four inches taller than he was. Sesshoumaru opened the casket and placed the jewellery on the finger, wrists and neck of his mate and Inuyasha was happy to see that the pair looked contented; this was no mere marriage of convenience after all.

Many dignitaries from all over came to pay their respects at the mating feast; it was only natural that the most powerful youkai attended, some even from far off lands. Sesshoumaru was a youkai to be taken very seriously and his mating assured the future of the West for ages to come. The feast itself was spectacular; there was nothing outrageously ostentatious, but the food was of the best quality and presented in good taste. Any guest would be able to find something to their particular palate, and there were speciality dishes from each of the guests' provinces or lands.

During the course of the evening Inuyasha was encouraged to circulate as individuals came up and introduced themselves to him. At first he wondered about this before remembering that not only was it obvious he was Sesshoumaru's brother, but he was also responsible for ridding the world of Naraku. As he met new people, Inuyasha noticed that for a select few, there was an extra excitement when a group of mainly males and a few women entered the room together.

They proceeded to disperse however to various places around the room and were met enthusiastically by what seemed to be their respective parents. Inuyasha had never seen these youkai before, but he was intrigued to notice they all had the same mark on their throats as he did. Their scents also were heavily interlaced with not only Sesshoumaru, but a far older and vaguely familiar one in some cases. Myouga was on hand thankfully to instruct Inuyasha on what he was seeing and smelling.

"Who are they Myouga, are they relatives of ours or perhaps adopted?

"No indeed Master Inuyasha; they have nothing to do with you."

"Why do they have a pack mark then? It's the same as mine."

"Yes, that's so, but it is not a pack mark My Lord; it is a mark of possession that Lord Sesshoumaru has placed on you."

"Possession, like I'm a slave or something...you're telling me that Sesshoumaru owns me now?"

"Well, not a slave; but yes he owns you in a way..."

"That deceitful...why did I trust him? Is this permanent...can it hold me here?"

"I'm afraid that it can Master Inuyasha; if you left without permission, he could have you brought back and punished if he so chose."

"He's trapped me; he lied when he said I'd be family...always everything goes wrong for me..." Inuyasha took one look around the party and aimed for the nearest exit.

TBC


	5. PAMPERED LIFE

Warning: slight bad language.

PAMPERED LIFE

Inuyasha did not go far; he only wanted his suite of rooms and some peace and quiet to think properly. He was still very young in youkai terms but he had learned a lot and had settled more since Naraku; so he was not quite so liable to act first and think later. He was however shocked to his core with the understanding that he had been marked only as a possession by Sesshoumaru and his heart ached with the pain of the betrayal.

Half an hour later, Sesshoumaru came to his rooms and found Inuyasha standing in his garden gazing at the moon. This picture was something the Daiyoukai could understand, as he too enjoyed the peace that the moon bestowed. He went to stand at Inuyasha's side and then he put his fingers to Inuyasha's mark.

"I saw you leave the feast Inuyasha and Myouga told me what you believed."

"What you _wanted_ me to believe you mean."

"Not quite, I _allowed_ you to misunderstand."

"You knew I thought this was a pack mark, not one of shame; everyone must be laughing at me now, what a joke for everyone but me. You betrayed me Sesshoumaru, and I didn't see it coming; more fool me."

"Are you finished Inuyasha; I have not betrayed you but I have no time now to explain, I must get back to my mate."

"Yeah, that's right, everyone else comes before Inuyasha; why not leave it to the flea again to explain, at least he'll get some of it right. I won't be here when you get out of seclusion; you'll have to kill me before I become your slave."

"You are exasperating Inuyasha; very well I shall tell you now. The mark is not that of a slave, far from it; it _is _a possessive mark however, for a special group of people only. They are bondsman for their countries, valued family members of conquered tribes and clans who are here as surety for their countrymen's good behaviour.

"They are usually royalty, eldest sons or daughters and are treated as such. The mark is only worn by them, although it is to show where I would rip their throats out if there is treason. Some have been here since Father was Lord. They rarely see their families and as such there is great rejoicing when they do. It is my privilege to allow them these times.

"Everyone knows that the wearer of such a mark is royalty and to be treated with dignity, that includes you and you will not leave without my permission or you will be brought back and punished. Am I clear on that; it is not that I am being cruel to you, it is one of the penalties of the mark."

"Why not the pack mark? You told me I would be family, but you haven't marked me as pack."

"I wanted to protect you Inuyasha, if I had marked a hanyou as pack you would have been assassinated at some time; quickly and efficiently. No one would accept you."

"But I am your brother...why..."

"Don't be such an infant. You may be my brother but you have no status as such. With the bonded mark you are at least protected."

"But treated as an outsider still."

"What do you want from me Inuyasha? You want my love? It is impossible; I told you I could be no more to you than what I am now."

"You can feel love Sesshoumaru; all different sorts of love, you loved father, you love Rin; you will love your mate and pups, why is it so hard to extend that to me? I never did you any harm, at least not till you attacked me."

"It is what you represent Inuyasha, my father's weakness and my mother's disgust. _We_ lost him so that _you_ could live. It was not a fair exchange and it is something I cannot forget; you may resemble him a lot, but you certainly cannot replace him."

"I know that, but after all this time can't you see round it?"

"No, Inuyasha; it may be all of your lifetime ago but that is hardly a long time, however you are my brother and I will protect and give you a home and family, but I cannot give you love. Now I must go to my mate and I will speak to you again when I return." Sesshoumaru turned away and walked out of the room before his brother could shed the tears he had been valiantly holding in. As he left, his mother walked in, and for once she had a gentle expression on her face as she looked to Inuyasha.

"Inuyasha, come to me." She waited knowing that the pup would not dare to disobey her and once again Inuyasha turned from his contemplation of the moon. She smiled ruefully as she saw him drag his sleeve across his eyes before he warily approached her; she was so like her son to look at, although she smiled more, but that was not necessarily reassuring.

"My Lady?"

"You must be patient young one; you must recognise that you are far better off here than in the village where your friends grow older and you will be forgotten. You will build a life here; I am sure you will be most useful when pups come, give it time for you all to settle down and don't judge too harshly. You will be the only one to suffer if you do; now dry your eyes and get to bed, you may take breakfast with me in the morning and tell me about yourself."

The Lady waited until he was in bed and then smoothed his hair and actually kissed his forehead and Inuyasha found to his shame that he relished the attention. For so long he had had no sign of affection in his life and back then he had learned to live with it; but Kikyou and then of course Kagome, had offered him kisses and much more. It was so hard to go back to nothing, as by nature he was a loving creature and thrived on kindness.

"You are thinking too much for this time of night; but if you must do so, think about the large suite of rooms, the silk kimono, plenty of food and the acknowledgement of brotherhood. You have all the trappings of a Prince of the West; do not be greedy for what is not given." Then she too left him, to think about how he would give all of the finery and luxury up and live in his tree again, if he could only have his brother's genuine affection.

Inuyasha couldn't sleep and got up once again to look at the moon; it calmed him and his turbulent thoughts. Sesshoumaru had changed towards him; they had been bitter enemies not too long ago, then found a mutual respect that had led to the truce and now they were family under the same roof. The hanyou was grateful for the home he now had; he was far from stupid and knew that after Kagome had gone and then his friends, life would have returned to being very hard for him alone.

Perhaps given more time Sesshoumaru would come to have affection for him; if Inuyasha worked hard and was more gracious in his ways. But would he have to change his own nature and would he be able to? Well the answer was yes, he was not naturally rude or obnoxious; circumstances surrounding him had always decided how he would react to any given situation. He would always be a fighter and a worker but now he could fight alongside his brother rather than against him; he would make Sesshoumaru love him as a brother should.

But as usual when he tried to make plans, it started out wrong; when Sesshoumaru came out of seclusion the first thing he found out was that Inuyasha was under arrest and had been in the prison since the day after the mating. It had happened after Inuyasha's breakfast with Sesshoumaru's mother which had gone quite nicely as Inuyasha told her his life history. He had not meant to disclose so much, but she had a way of softening her face and looking interested and concerned that unnerved him and drew him to her at the same time.

After breakfast the hanyou felt the need to be quiet again to think; his memories were precious to him and he had just disturbed them all, making his soul feel violated in a strange way. So he had gone for a walk in the grounds to clear his head and then he had seen some trees in the forest and decided that a branch of the highest would be the perfect spot to meditate. Sesshoumaru was told that Inuyasha had been brought back under guard and put in the prison where he'd been beaten and put on prison rations.

Sesshoumaru looked on the hanyou he claimed as brother; Inuyasha's skin was grimy and his hair matted, he was thin and subdued and he'd been in the prison for two weeks. Two weeks with only the barest essentials for food and cold water thrown over his nearly naked body daily for cleansing. Nobody had been able to have him released for only the one who he was bonded to could do that; although to her credit, Sesshoumaru's mother had tried.

Sesshoumaru told Inuyasha to go and bathe as he was not going to speak to him while he had the stench of the prison clinging to him and he sent his own bath attendants to make sure Inuyasha was presentable when he next saw him. One hour later and Inuyasha stood before him again and Sesshoumaru took an appraising glance at him; his brother was definitely clean again and his hair shone and had been thoroughly combed although it was still damp.

But the boy's clothes hung from his scrawny frame and he looked half starved and Sesshoumaru was annoyed. This should not have happened; he had no doubt that the letter of the law had been carried out, probably with a lot of enthusiasm regarding the hanyou. But Sesshoumaru had seen his brother like this before, although then it had been when the pup was younger and at the hands of humans. It reflected badly on his regime to see his brother thus and that made him angry with the boy.

"I see that it doesn't take long for my back to be turned before you are making a fool of yourself Inuyasha."

"I only went and sat in a damned tree, Sesshoumaru; your wretched guards..."

"My guards did their assigned jobs Inuyasha. You must have known you were out of bounds without permission; are you still testing your limits. I suppose you have found them."

"How was I supposed to know I couldn't sit in a tree, nobody said?"

"Your mark must have alerted you."

"You mean when it went all itchy."

"It is meant to irritate you to stop you; not to be ignored."

"Feh! I just thought it needed scratching."

"Well you know better now; I told you what would happen if you tried to escape and you have found out the hard way."

"I weren't trying to escape; I only went to think and suddenly I'm surrounded by damned guards all showing their teeth, like I'm going to come down when they tell me. If I hadn't run off I'd have blasted them with Tessaiga and you'd be royally pissed and minus your guards." Inuyasha was starting to get wound up.

"You are an idiot child sometimes, and you seem to live to exasperate me."

"Well perhaps I should leave and go back to the village; You don't want me and I don't know all your fancy rules here, _and _I've just spent two weeks starving in your bloody dungeon, so I think it's me that should be exasperated, don't you?"

"You only have yourself to blame Inuyasha; you will not leave, this is now your home and you may yet come in useful. Do not start to weep, I cannot abide weak tears."

"I ain't crying Sesshoumaru; never again for you, or because of you." Inuyasha sniffed loudly and started to leave, even though he hadn't had permission. That was something he wasn't going to start and to be honest Sesshoumaru had never demanded it of him; but he'd only got two steps before he passed out cold on the floor.

When Inuyasha came too he was on his bed and a small table of the choicest food had been laid for him with a very small jug of rich wine. Over in the corner, Sesshoumaru was conversing with the healer and they both turned around as Inuyasha started to sit up. The healer hurried to his side before Inuyasha could get out of bed.

"You must stay here My Lord; you must recover. Lord Sesshoumaru has sent the food especially for you and the wine will help your blood to strengthen."

"Enough thank you." Sesshoumaru spoke haughtily to the healer before turning his attention back to his brother. "The diagnosis is merely fatigue brought on by your body's lack of good food and the fact you got upset while speaking with me. The remedy is rest and food for a few days, therefore you will remain here and the healer will come if you need him."

"Feh! I'll be fine once I've eaten; don't need to stay in bed."

"Apparently you do; and you will not remove yourself from here until you are given permission. It appears that I know the limits of your hanyou body better than you. If you were youkai this collapse would not have happened."

"If I were youkai you could have accepted me as your pack and this wouldn't have happened. How many other beatings and starvation programmes am I going to get, before I know all your stupid laws?" Inuyasha shouted and received a back handed blow from Sesshoumaru's fist.

"You will not raise your voice to me in that tone Inuyasha, I am Lord here and at the moment you are here under my sufferance."

"Well screw you Sesshoumaru; I'm only weak 'cos your guards are sadistic pigs." With that childish comeback Inuyasha threw himself back on the pillow and turned his head away. Sesshoumaru just glared at the back of Inuyasha's head and spoke to the healer telling him not to leave until Inuyasha had eaten and drunk the measure of wine; before storming out of the room. The healer came over to Inuyasha again.

"Don't get upset young one; our Lord Sesshoumaru is only concerned about your health."

"He ain't my lord; he should be my brother, and I don't need to be treated like a naughty kid."

"Then stop acting like one. Lord Sesshoumaru is your lord, brother or not and he deserves respect from the likes of you pup. Now do as he wishes and eat your meal, he brought it himself. Lord Sesshoumaru was most concerned about your state of health." His words made Inuyasha think and he was hungry so he managed to eat some of the food and drank the wine which had been drugged to help him sleep again.

Meanwhile Sesshoumaru had been down to the prison to speak to the commanding officer of the guards. He found out that Inuyasha had spent his human night down there, and knew that the boy had been afraid. The guards had found him vastly amusing as he had sat with his back to the walls of a corner soaking wet from his 'bath' and shivering; the wounds on his back as yet unhealed, but still able to mutter his curses at the lot of them. Instinct had made him make himself small as he could but he hadn't slept. It was a novel experience for many of the youkai to see a hanyou change.

Sesshoumaru knew that Inuyasha would be worried that now so many youkai knew when his vulnerable night was, because as yet he didn't trust in the protection of the mark he bore. Nor at this point would Sesshoumaru blame him, the mark had only brought the pup trouble as far as Inuyasha knew. However it wouldn't always be so and Inuyasha would just have to learn; in fact the boy still had a lot to learn. Sesshoumaru's guards had been a little overzealous in their treatment, but they had acted within their remit so he couldn't punish them for his brother's predicament.

Inuyasha awoke to the feeling of someone petting his head and he stayed still while they did so, the action was very comforting. But it was strange, the scent gave his sister-in-law away, why her, she had not shown him any sign of affection before? He got his answer soon enough;

"What a bad little pet you are Inuyasha; now you've made yourself ill and worried Sesshoumaru. You must learn not to be disobedient from now on. My Lord has enough to do without running around after you."

"Sesshoumaru has never run round after me as you put it Yukaiko; he's never cared shit about me."

"I will not hear that sort of language Inuyasha or there will be more trouble do you understand? And it is `My Lady' or `Lady Yukaiko' to you." Her voice was kind even if her words were sharp but more than ever Inuyasha understood that he too was considered a `palace pet' for her, it would be the only way she could stand to be in his company. Was it always going to be this way for him?

When he had been with his mother, the humans had called him a beast, or dog-boy and he often overheard the words monster, animal and the suchlike directed at him in whispers people thought he couldn't hear, while he searched for the jewel. Now he was to be considered no more than a pampered house pet, to be trained into obedience by Sesshoumaru's mate. Well they could all whistle if they thought he would stay for that, he wasn't going to be some form of entertainment for everyone.

When Sesshoumaru came back later that evening to see how Inuyasha was faring, he got yelled at by the overwrought boy who screamed at him that he was never going to be anyone's pet, trained to do tricks. He was a warrior, the son of a great general and the brother of the most powerful youkai around and he was not going to sit on silk cushions while grand ladies tweaked his ears as if he were some common dog.

"Certainly you are not Inuyasha; calm down and ease your over active imagination; I shall see to it personally that no one treats you that way, it would be great dishonour to me and our family line." Sesshoumaru gave his assurance and Inuyasha noticed the pattern that was set for the rest of his life; his brother would only take notice of anything that upset Inuyasha, if it reflected badly on his own person and not because he was protecting the little brother's feelings.

Besides that though, when Inuyasha had calmed down and believed in Sesshoumaru's reassurance, he was informed that Lady Yukaiko was expecting a litter of pups; the heirs to the West.

TBC


	6. MANIPULATED LIFE

6

MANIPULATED LIFE

Inuyasha was once again sensible of the fact that he had been told Yukaiko was expecting the first litter of the next generation of pups to the West, before it became general knowledge. For this he was grateful, it showed his position in the household was unchanged. In the months it took for the pups to grow, Inuyasha went back to the village to visit his friends and with messages for Rin from Sesshoumaru.

The Daiyoukai knew he could trust Inuyasha with the delicate task of telling Rin that his first pups were due and helping her to understand that with his many duties now, it was not so easy to come and visit her in person. They were all pleased to see Inuyasha again and of course wanted to know all of the news. Inuyasha told them everything, even if he skirted some of the details; he didn't want anyone thinking he felt sorry for himself or even worse, have them feel sorry for him.

So he was cheerful and happy; delighted that Sango was expecting again and so was Rin and he joked with them that it must be something in the air, before he stayed for the evening meal and then left for the palace. Inuyasha felt as if he were in a form of limbo as he left his former life behind and headed to the new one and he supposed that was how it had always been for him. After all, his whole body and mind were often divided and the only one who had made sense of it all and made him complete could never return this time.

And so it was with a strange feeling of relief when Sesshoumaru took charge of him when he got back and took any decisions away from him for a while. The Daiyoukai had summoned Inuyasha to his study on the hanyou's return and offered him refreshment; then proceeded to study his brother in depth while he ate. He was not obvious about this, he merely watched from the corner of his eye whilst seemingly perusing a treaty he held in his hand. But Inuyasha knew; he could feel his brother's gaze and he wondered, but as he was hungry he didn't let it put him off his food.

Inuyasha's eating habits still left a lot to be desired, but they had improved immensely since he'd been with Kagome. She'd helped him to see that his food would not be stolen from him so there was no need to bolt it down; he had come to appreciate flavours more fully too. Once he'd finished, Inuyasha looked straight at his brother to let him know that he was ready to talk; but he had to wait until Sesshoumaru deemed that _he_ was ready.

"Inuyasha, it is not my intention to let you stay here idle and therefore I have initiated a learning programme for you so that you may become useful. I think too that this would be more suited to your nature than not."

"Keh! I never intended to live here on your charity Sesshoumaru; I ain't lazy, I'll work for you." Inuyasha bristled with annoyance that his brother might think he was going to sponge off him. He didn't want Sesshoumaru feeling that Inuyasha owed him anything. The Daiyoukai of course was calm, knowing that his volatile brother would react this way.

"This Sesshoumaru knows that for a fact Inuyasha, but let me tell you my proposition. Soon I will need to be near my mate for longer periods of time, but that will not stop my duties as Western Lord. Therefore you will be trained and be prepared to meet with and deal with, minor dignitaries and small matters. You will represent This Sesshoumaru and the West if the situation is not too serious."

Feh, I can't learn all that shit in the time you've given me Sesshoumaru."

"You will not have to _be_ This Sesshoumaru Inuyasha; merely be courteous and a form of figurehead. I have advisors who will always be on hand should there be a problem."

"Okay, that takes me up to pups and a bit beyond I 'spose; any ideas for after your brats are born."

"Of course, This Sesshoumaru has long term plans for you."

"Let's hear them then."

"I have made a new position for you; a caretaker and bodyguard to my pups, you will be well paid but they are to be guarded with your life. It will be a position of great honour and you will then be of independent means. What do you say?" Sesshoumaru looked shrewdly at his brother; noting the bent head, lowered ears and the face well hidden behind the hair. When Inuyasha answered his voice was shaking with anger and other emotions.

"How little you know or understand me Sesshoumaru; or perhaps you intend to insult me...I don't know. But you can keep your job and the money; I don't want either of them. Damn you; I would look after those pups with my life regardless, they're mine too, and they deserve better than you or your stuck up bitch of a `Lady'." He finished his rant and then flinched, expecting a heavy blow from the now looming Sesshoumaru.

But Sesshoumaru did not strike out at Inuyasha; he merely studied the boy again before continuing as if Inuyasha hadn't just decried him and his mate. Inuyasha was breathing hard and positively oozed hurt and indignant feelings; then when he had calmed sufficiently, he turned to march out of the office with his head held high. Sesshoumaru however blocked his path by standing in the doorway.

"Get out of my way Sesshoumaru."

"I have not finished speaking to you Inuyasha."

"Well I've finished speaking with you; I may be hanyou and the lowest of the low as far as you lot are concerned, but I don't have to take what you all dish out. Find someone else to be the paid bodyguard; one of your perfect, strong and pure Inu's. Surely one of them could do with a pecuniary step up the ladder, but you cannot bribe This Inuyasha. Now let me go."

"Are you indicating that despite the fact that I would not have returned the gesture and in actuality would have posed a real threat to any offspring should you have had them, you would protect the offspring of This Sesshoumaru and without gain?"

"I don't make war on pups Sesshoumaru; they are my nieces and nephews whatever, do you know that it is so sad you don't have family feeling and only see everything in terms of power and gain. I know I'm different to you, but I don't regret it anymore because you miss out on so much; not everything is calculable." Inuyasha had lost his fight now and just felt miserable; so far as he could tell, his brother's offspring were not much short of a commodity to the parents, and to be handed over to caretakers instead of kept within the loving arms of a Mama and Papa.

Well that was to be expected he supposed, even human rulers were the same; but if he'd had pups he wouldn't let anyone else have the looking after of them and he determined to be a supportive uncle for his brother's offspring.

"Just find someone else." Inuyasha said in a tired voice and Sesshoumaru sighed.

"I trust no one else Inuyasha; not with my pups, I trust no one I can buy because there can always be a higher bidder."

"I don't understand..."

"This Sesshoumaru knew that I didn't have to ask you to protect the pups; you have always proven a loyal defender, even at the risk of your own life for those you befriended, and sometimes those who were strangers to you or even those who spurned you. I have berated and scorned you for such care in the past, yet I unashamedly ask you to use it now.

"We have saved each other's lives during the last few years and I know you want my regard...you have it; it is the most I can offer. But you need not be affronted at my words, I understand you very well Inuyasha and I also know that you would protect my young, unasked and unthanked. It is the human in you and for the first time This Sesshoumaru admits he is grateful."

Sesshoumaru moved from the door and opened the screens to another room and Lady Yukaiko and the Dowager Lady of the West emerged. Sesshoumaru's mother was smiling but Yukaiko had a scowl on her lovely face. They had heard everything because Sesshoumaru had planned this.

"You see Inuyasha, you have proved yourself not to me, but to my mate and my mother; they were neither of them convinced you would be so un-mercenary and loyal to the pups and family as you have proved, they do not know you as well as I do."

"He insulted you and I Sesshoumaru and you have not yet punished him."

"I recall no insult; Inuyasha speaks the truth as he sees it, I have never been successful in curbing his tongue despite the times I've beaten him for it since he was a child. His loud and crude mouth is one of Inuyasha's weapons, but as it does no harm I have learned to let it slide."

"Oy, stop talking as if I weren't here; you set me up Sesshoumaru, you're a right bastard."

"You should be calling him Lord Sesshoumaru hanyou."

"No, I should not; whether anyone likes it or not, he is my brother and I ain't kowtowing to him ever. Our father was the same and my mother was a princess _'My Lady'_; so I'm an equal as far as I can see, so don't get all huffy, it's not good for the pups."

"Are you letting him get away with this rudeness and disrespect Sesshoumaru?"

"Once again, I have never required Inuyasha to call me anything but my name and out of respect for my father's choice, I have to admit his royal birth." Sesshoumaru said serenely in front of both his mother and mate, to Inuyasha's surprise. His brother was defending him? Then he remembered what Sesshoumaru wanted from him and realised that his brother was most manipulative and wouldn't risk Inuyasha walking out and away for the foreseeable future.

"Little One, you are a breath of fresh air; you are very like your father in many ways. You are mistaken Sesshoumaru, it is not only his humanity that is loyal and self sacrificing; your father was often this way." The Dowager came and kissed Inuyasha on his forehead and patted him, which was annoying to the hanyou. "He is perfect for looking after my grandpups."

"Very well I agree that he will do; I do not question this decision of yours My Mate, I could scent no deceit in him as he spoke. It is just as well that you could have no pups of your own Inuyasha; it might have made you divided in your loyalty." Yukaiko could tell her comment had struck home and was satisfied to have paid the hanyou back for his earlier remarks, but Sesshoumaru was not pleased, it was a low blow and not required.

If Inuyasha had been anybody else around them they might have gone back on their word and retracted their offer to guard the pups. As it was all Inuyasha did was bow to them all and leave without speaking to go to his rooms.

"That was not well said Yukaiko; you could have jeopardised my plans with that remark. I will thank you not to go against what I have already said again."

"Very well My Mate, but you need have no fear that he will leave us, he wants your love far too much. He will still serve our purpose."

"That is as may be, but I dislike having an unhappy or miserable hanyou around and his lack of pups is a great blow to him...as you well know. My brother is mine to protect now and as such only This Sesshoumaru is to be allowed to correct him or to cause him disquiet, do I make myself clear My Lady?"

"Perfectly, now let us talk of more agreeable subjects than your hanyou brother." She came to sit on his lap and pushed her head under his chin and the Dowager decided it was time to leave and check on Inuyasha; she had come to find him amusing. He was back in his room and talking to Kagome in his thoughts, as he held one of her hair ornaments that he'd brought with him in her box of trinkets.

The Lady knocked and walked straight in to find Inuyasha by the window to his little garden which had become a favourite spot for his contemplation. Her quick eyes noticed the comb in his hands and the way in which he gently fondled it and she remembered the pain of losing a loved one; not only in death but in betrayal by the act that caused Inuyasha's birth.

She reached up to pet the fluffy ears ignoring the sigh of complaint from Inuyasha; that turned into a sigh of bliss as she kept up her ministrations. It had been so long since Kagome had stroked them in a soothing way. Inuyasha didn't even realise that he had bent his head in to the Lady's touch, trying to encourage her to keep going; at least not until she spoke.

"Sesshoumaru reproved his mate for her words Little Pet." She smirked as Inuyasha pulled away.

"I ain't a pet and that snooty female can say what she wants; like I care what she thinks."

"You are and you do; you are cute and pup like still and I think despite everything, I am beginning to like you Inuyasha."

"Well, thanks I suppose."

"I sometimes still do what you were doing; talking to my mate in my head."

"How did you know...?"

"It was easy, you were holding her comb and muttering under your breath; I tend to hold this stone when I want to know what to do and I speak as if Sesshoumaru's father were still with me."

"Yeah, sorry about that..."

"It wasn't your fault puppy."

"Try telling that to Sesshoumaru; he was always trying to kill me, then threatening my pups." He stopped and choked before remembering to whom he spoke.

"If he'd wanted you dead Little One, you would have been dead and he was all noise when it came to the pups. If you had been able to sire them, he would never have killed pups; nor would he have ended anything that had the blood of his father in their veins."

"He can hurt you enough to make you wish you were dead then."

"Yes of that I have no doubt, and he can use your feelings for him against you too."

"Feh!" As if Inuyasha didn't know that; ever since he'd been a tiny orphaned whelp, Sesshoumaru had used psychological pain along with the physical against him, often promising affection to the love starved hanyou before calling him atrocious names or harshly disciplining him. No, Inuyasha knew enough not to trust his brother with his own hypothetical pups; the Daiyoukai was cruel at times and even with a truce, Inuyasha would have hidden them far away.

"Believe me or not, but I am sorry that you cannot sire offspring; they would be a comfort to you now your mate has gone."

"I dunno, we'd have been hunted all their lives; that's no life for a pup and that I do know."

"Well anyway, I can't think of anyone more suitable to keep an eye out for Sesshoumaru's pups, but be warned Inuyasha, they are full youkai; they will be different growing up and in attitude to any with human blood."

"Yeah, I remember Shippou; he was a right brat to me a lot of the time, but he's growing up better." Inuyasha smiled as he remembered how he frequently bonked the little kitsune on the head and thought that he probably wouldn't get away with doing that to Sesshoumaru's pups. But, if they needed it, who knows? The thought caused him to chuckle.

In the end, Sesshoumaru consigned a special guard to watch over his mate and then pups; obvious and ruthless, leaving Inuyasha the only other one with access to the pups apart from their father without question. Inuyasha would be the last line of defence if Sesshoumaru were elsewhere and he would buy enough time for the pups to be cleared to safety if they were attacked.

Despite Inuyasha's objections to the contrary, Sesshoumaru set up a trust fund for his younger sibling; he would not be beholden to his brother and Inuyasha might be able to use the money in the future. At the moment he was still young and not used to what money could do, but he would learn. There was a polite indifference between Yukaiko and Inuyasha from then on; although she had to admit the hanyou was attentive to her needs she laughed as she spoke of it to her mate.

"Inuyasha seems to know what I need before I myself do; does he have some special gift?"

"My brother cannot help himself; he will always help a female in need, especially if she is confined as you now are."

"You have seen him thus before?"

"Many times, when he travelled with the humans even when he was exasperated by them he would do all he could for their comfort; at least within his means. I have watched him over the years and even with Rin, who he could not abide at first as he was consumed by jealousy, he guarded selflessly."

"Jealous of Rin, why on earth..."

"The child accompanied me and I watched over her in a way I did not do for my brother when he was an orphan."

"He has always sought your regard then, from a whelp onwards?" Yukaiko watched as her mate nodded slowly.

"Why do you think I offered him a home with the inducement of being part of the family? I knew that he wouldn't be able to resist having a place to belong and that he would be naturally want to protect the next generation. His not having his own will naturally make him fonder of ours." Sesshoumaru turned and looked over at his mother who was just entering the room; Inuyasha who had been with her had spun on his heel and left abruptly, but was still not out of range to hear the Lady and Sesshoumaru talking.

"Why are you so cruel to your brother Sesshoumaru? You said yourself that you don't like the hanyou being miserable around you and yet you speak this way when you knew he was here?"

"Inuyasha will need to lose these human sensibilities; he is far too emotional for a youkai with his strength."

"He isn't youkai though, he is hanyou; he cannot change his makeup, not even for you, although I believe he tried. Wasn't that some of the problem surrounding that jewel?

"Really mother, I know just how far to push my brother."

Indeed the following morning Inuyasha was around as if he had not heard the hurtful words, much to Sesshoumaru's self congratulating pleasure. As always he was proved correct about his baby brother, who just needed to toughen up in the youkai world he now belonged to. There was no sign of the distress Inuyasha had been in most of the night; the hanyou had made sure of that.

TBC


	7. MASKED LIFE

7

MASKED LIFE

Inuyasha had spent the whole night awake and thinking after he overheard his brother speaking with his mate. He also knew that Sesshoumaru had meant for him to hear; his brother hated any signs of weakness and would purge the human from Inuyasha if he could do so. But Inuyasha realised that even if he could become full youkai and sane, it would not make Sesshoumaru love him; but he supposed it might make Inuyasha not want such love.

The only thing the hanyou could do was to act like his brother when the elder was around; he could do it, he had had to learn since he was a child. When he had been under the youkai's care as a tiny orphaned pup, Sesshoumaru had been no more tolerant of his humanity than he was now. If Inuyasha had been forced and able to act like his brother when he was small, he could certainly do it again, if that was what Sesshoumaru wanted.

Inuyasha thought ruefully at how easily Sesshoumaru could always `play' him; he may have said that he didn't understand human emotions, but he always knew how to manipulate the hanyou. So, Sesshoumaru had used his knowledge of Inuyasha's desire for family and acceptance to entice his brother to the West; as an expendable, last line of defence for the precious pups he was to sire on his mate.

Sesshoumaru had known all the time that Inuyasha wouldn't hesitate to protect the vulnerable pups. The hanyou's human desire for love and devotion from his relations and his desire to protect were used by the Daiyoukai who cynically despised the very part of Inuyasha that he was going to exploit. Then Inuyasha thought again, Sesshoumaru was not really a hypocrite, he had never pretended to be anything that he wasn't.

He had used Inuyasha and was planning on using him again, but it was no secret; he still only tolerated his little brother's presence. But he had kept his promise, Inuyasha was part of the family; he was clothed, fed and nurtured in everything except the main one as far as the hanyou was concerned. However Sesshoumaru had warned him right in the beginning that the family life would not be of the sort he was used to.

Sesshoumaru wasn't going to change, he had no need to do so; he had stopped threatening Inuyasha's life because he had found a use for him; firstly with Rin and now with his pups. Inuyasha laughed ruefully to himself, he supposed he could have been in a dungeon somewhere or treated as a slave; at least Sesshoumaru wasn't dishonourable like that.

By the morning Inuyasha had fully given up any hope that he and Sesshoumaru would ever have a more affectionate and brotherly relationship. Never for him would be the brother who cared as Souta or Kohaku did for their siblings; no, all Inuyasha could hope for, was being kept alive and well to suit Sesshoumaru's own purposes, he was not much more than a servant.

Inuyasha had smothered his disappointment in his pillow before washing all traces of upset and steeling his face into an expressionless mask like his brother. Then he went down for breakfast, firm and determined to never let himself down again. He would not be some simpering wailing puppy ever, and he would never again look for affection from the sources that still resented him.

Sesshoumaru noted the expression on his brother's face with pleasure; it was obvious that his remarks had hit home and the hanyou had taken the sentiment behind them to heart. It would be easier all round if Inuyasha acted more like the youkai he should have been, and with training in that regard perhaps the boy's humanity could almost be forgotten.

As time passed it became obvious that Inuyasha's stoicism was not just a passing phase, or a sulk against his nature because of his brother's disdain. He trained hard; learned his lessons and was fairly silent unless spoken too and then he answered politely and succinctly. Inuyasha was soon very capable of standing in proxy for Sesshoumaru in meetings or whenever Yukaiko required her mate.

Inuyasha only now gave into his human side on the night of the dark moon, when he stayed in his suite and allowed his true nature to come out, or at least part of his true nature. The only other times he could be himself, were on his regular visits to his human friends who welcomed the hanyou with open arms. Only because he had these freedoms was he able to keep his sanity when denying his personality for the rest of the time.

Sesshoumaru's mother though warned her son that he would come to regret the way Inuyasha was now, but the Daiyoukai had snorted; he could only see improvements with his brother's demeanour, at least that is, until his pups were born. The day began in a rush with the labour already started and both Sesshoumaru and Inuyasha were waiting outside the birthing room.

But it was not as the Daiyoukai expected. Inuyasha never once told him to sit down or stop worrying; there were no impertinent queries as to `did Sesshoumaru know what sex the pups were'. There were no brash jokes or excited nervous movements that Sesshoumaru could berate the hanyou for, and no anticipatory conjectures; in fact Inuyasha hardly seemed distracted at all, he just waited patiently for the birth.

It did not take long for the four new pups, the first litter of the West to arrive, one after the other and they were a nice balanced group; two girls and two boys, the girls birthed between the boys. When it was Inuyasha's turn to visit, after the father and grandparents; he took note of the pretty pups. All were beautiful and had various attributes of both parents, although at this age they all looked much the same. There were different combinations of markings, but all had the indigo crescent of their father and grandmother.

Sesshoumaru was expecting the shimmering and glowing golden eyes of his brother to turn to him in excitement at the lovely pups, knowing that Inuyasha would tell them the obvious; how beautiful the pups were, how much they took after their father and all the while smiling like an idiot. He just knew that the hanyou would shed tears however; overly emotional in memory of those pups he couldn't have, but also in immediate love for these, his brother's offspring.

So when Inuyasha did none of these, but merely looked closely at the new ones and congratulated Sesshoumaru and Lady Yukaiko most formerly and with no inflection in his voice at all, the Daiyoukai felt slighted in some way. He had not realised it, but he had been anticipating his brother to be noisy and vocal in joy about the babies, and in a way that Sesshoumaru himself could not express. Inuyasha had shown no interest in the pups at all and Sesshoumaru felt cheated as his brother bowed and walked out.

There was nothing Sesshoumaru could do however, Inuyasha's manners had been impeccable; but it was out of character for his little brother and the Daiyoukai was unnerved all of a sudden. His mother shot him a knowing glance and not for the first time in his life said, _`I told you so'._ But the older brother shrugged it off; there was nothing to be done about Inuyasha acting correctly in the presence of the pups and the rest of the family, except to be grateful he had at last learned. Wishing for once it was different, was a pointless and ill advised exercise.

However later in the first month, the pups had awoken together and were fussing, although they were not hungry or dirty; they were just playing in their crib. Inuyasha sneaked in and went to them to join in their play, but with the intention of calming them down. He let them play with his hair, and he tickled their bellies and played peek-a-boo. Although only a week old they were alert and already recognised their caregivers.

"Hush little Sesshies, you'll wake your dragon of a mama and she needs her rest or she'll breath fire at me if I look at her the wrong way." Inuyasha smiled at the pups who cooed back at him, before he sang in a soft low voice; it was a pup song remembered from long before, when his own mother had helped him to sleep. As he sang, he rocked the cradle gently and soon the pups had fallen asleep again tangled in a heap of arms and legs.

"I love you little Sesshies; I love you and I'll protect you, even though you will probably grow to loathe me like your parents do." Then Inuyasha swiftly left the nursery through the adjoining doors to his own suite and Sesshoumaru watched him go through the tiny gap in his door to the nursery. He was pleased to see that Inuyasha was his normal disrespectful self for once and that the reserved attitude he had adopted was just that, a veneer; although he didn't try to analyse why, but it proved he had been right to try and make the pup emotionally stronger.

_`They will not despise you Inuyasha, you are their uncle; but I cannot make them accept hanyou as something desirable, not even for you.' _Sesshoumaru thought, as he went back to join his mate in sleep and surprisingly relieved that his little brother liked his pups. In the morning though, Inuyasha was back to his new self again before the line of youkai who had come to present gifts to the new heir and his siblings.

Sesshoumaru was curious as to what Inuyasha would present; he knew the boy had gifts because he had told him so, saying that he too would line up. But the hanyou hadn't touched any of the money set aside for him, therefore Sesshoumaru concluded that the gifts would be made by the hanyou as he had done for his friends' children. Inuyasha had proved to be a talented carver of wooden toys and had made leather balls and other various items and garments; including some of fur, to keep the babies warm and Sesshoumaru surmised that he would do the same again.

In fact he was looking forward to seeing what Inuyasha had made; he had been impressed by the toys that the other's children had been given, his brother had shown not only a practical gift, he also had an artistic streak. The presents were well made and decorative. The Daiyoukai was prepared to be generous with his thanks, partly because the hanyou would deserve them and partly to keep Inuyasha off balance with a tiny glimmer of hope for affection; just enough to keep the hanyou happy and contented to stay without being forced, in the West.

Inuyasha was last in the queue behind all the full youkai; being the pup's uncle notwithstanding, he was hanyou, but finally it was his turn. He held a cushion with four small ebony boxes with the initial of each pup picked out in diamonds and the crescent of their father's house in indigo. Inside each box was a tiny bracelet; one each of ruby, emerald sapphire and amethyst; exactly the right size for a pup's dinky wrist.

Sesshoumaru stared at the bowed head of his brother as the gifts were presented, princely gifts too, each sparkling stone matched the other in size and quality; and there was something else,

"This Sesshoumaru thanks his brother Inuyasha for these gifts on behalf of his pups." The formal acceptance spoken, he carried on, "I must admit to surprise Inuyasha; I had thought you would present something in the manner of the other gifts you have made to the children in the village."

"Certainly not Sesshoumaru; those gifts would hardly be suitable for your Lordship's children."

"All children, youkai or human need toys and garments for warmth."

"Such things you can buy; did you really think I would offer something and have all of you scorn my efforts? I am not such a fool any longer; these are honestly come by, if that is your worry."

"Nothing like that crossed my mind; although I am curious, there is some power in the bracelets and you have not touched any of the money set aside for your use."

"I will show you the power; attempt to melt one of them with your poison." Inuyasha watched as Sesshoumaru carefully allowed one drop of his Dokkasou to fall on the ruby bracelet. Before it touched the stones, a blue barrier formed around the bracelet and box and a familiar but long gone scent drifted to the noses of all the family. Two of those recognised the scent with love; it was the beloved signature of a mate and father.

"How is this possible?" Asked the Dowager Lady, and Inuyasha replied tonelessly;

"They were commissioned by My Lord Father from Totousai, My Lady; he gave me a box containing jewellery and other things that had been destined for my mother, for me to give gifts to Kagome when we mated. It had been left in his keeping and my mother never received them so they are untouched by her; although I had one similar as a child."

"Inuyasha, do not speak so coldly...it is unlike you."

"I do not mean to offend My Lady; shall I explain more?" This time it was his brother who responded;

"Carry on Inuyasha."

"Apparently my mother had a preference for less elaborate jewellery than other noble ladies and Totousai made several of these bracelets. The gems are strung on Father's hair and therefore the bracelet is unbreakable. For these to be small, I asked him to take off some of the stones and leave the length of hair to be wrapped into the clasp so that they can be adjusted as the pups grow. The extra stones are in the boxes. Father infused the hair with a spell that produces a barrier surrounding the area of the bracelet that includes the wearer. It is activated by threat; as I said, I had one as a child."

"But Inuyasha Pup, these are beautiful and generous gifts; however they are surely far too personal for you to give away, they are your inheritance." Sesshoumaru's mother said. Inuyasha looked at her intently.

"I have no need for such trinkets; and I have no one else to give them too, so who better than your grandchildren to have them. I have kept the only one I had from mother and a few things I had given Kagome. These are untainted by the touch of human or hanyou blood, and return to their rightful owners; his grandchildren." Sesshoumaru picked each one out of the box and Yukaiko placed it around the wrist of the correct pup while everyone watched.

The sparkly stones instantly grabbed the attention of the babies but there was no danger that the stones would come off and they found another use as new teeth started to chew. They were all so charmed by the pups that no one realised that Inuyasha had left them. It had been too much for him, and he felt more on the edge of the family than ever; he needed his own things and on reaching his room he snuggled his face in one of Kagome's kimono that still faintly bore her scent.

Of course over the next few years, the pups had plenty of things made by their uncle; these ranged from balls and hoops, swings and dolls, as Inuyasha could also sew, his needlework surprisingly good and detailed for one with such sharp claws. In fact they soon learned that Uncle Inuyasha would make almost anything for them if they asked nicely and he joined in with their games, enjoying himself immensely, unless interrupted by any of the adult youkai.

Sesshoumaru and Yukaiko were fascinated by Inuyasha's designs and they too were often to be found playing with the pups; there were even occasions when Yukaiko was entertaining other ladies and Sesshoumaru would join Inuyasha, insisting that he too stayed and entertained the pups with their father. These were special times for Inuyasha, not that he said; but Sesshoumaru was more relaxed too and the younger boy could imagine they were happy as brothers instead of distanced.

All four of the pups positively adored their uncle and it was obvious that the feeling was mutual and for several blissful years everything was fine; not even Yukaiko bothered that Inuyasha had bonded so well with her pups. She did tell them not to tease him though and to keep away from his ears because no pet liked to have their ears pulled; however for once this failed to annoy Inuyasha as he remembered Shippou saying the same thing when Miroku's twins played with him on the day Kagome returned from the future.

All too soon though it was time for the pups to enter structured education; they would start proper schooling and their days would be mapped out for them, including their playtimes. And as Yukaiko said to her mate, it was better that the young ones be taken out of the influence of the hanyou now that they were growing up. Inuyasha felt bereft of their company; he saw them at breakfast and for the evening meal only now, any spare time they had was taken up with their parents who also missed them.

The smaller toys and games were put away now and Inuyasha felt sad; they had been babies for such a short time, now they would start to learn all the ways of youkai and he also knew they would drift away from him too. It was a shame too because Inuyasha had started to feel more comfortable as his old self again around the pups and this led to an unfortunate incident.

At the table one evening everyone stopped talking in shock as one of the sweet little princesses let out a stream of the foulest language; sounding like Inuyasha on one of his old bad days. She hadn't finished before Sesshoumaru had yanked Inuyasha out of his chair and into the corridor; further dragging him to his rooms and before the younger brother could defend himself the elder punched him hard, before continuing to hit him in the face.

When he left, Inuyasha's face was badly swollen, he'd lost a few teeth and his nose and jaw were broken and bleeding; the hanyou was left on the floor, tears running down his cheeks from his bruised and closed eyelids. Sesshoumaru hadn't held back his temper; he put his whole weight behind punishing his brother. He then returned breathing heavily back to the dining hall and stood intimidating over his young daughter; but he addressed all the pups.

"You will never allow such foul language again such as the hanyou uses, to pass your lips; should I hear you there will be a severe penalty; do you all understand?" A chorus of `Yes Papas' was the answer. But Sesshoumaru was not yet finished;

"You are also forbidden to speak with Inuyasha for the foreseeable future, until he learns not to teach you such vile speech."

"Papa, Uncle Inuyasha didn't say anything like that; it was the soldiers near the barracks. I thought it was funny because they laughed afterwards. I didn't mean to be rude to you." The little girl said softly. Sesshoumaru stared at the child for a short while and then looked to his mother and just said _'come'_ to her. The Dowager followed him to Inuyasha's suite and they went in; the Lady took one look at the injured boy and told Sesshoumaru to fetch a healer and a servant for water and a cloth.

It was not too long before they had made Inuyasha more comfortable while he healed but although Sesshoumaru had made sure that everything was done properly for his brother's ease, he still hadn't said anything, let alone apologise. His mother's aura was angry at her son, whom she made sure noticed with her sharp gaze; but as time lapsed, Inuyasha closed off more and more inside himself. Finally Sesshoumaru spoke;

"You are feeling better Inuyasha?" There was no answer, so he continued; "It was natural to assume that you had let your mouth run away with you again, the words my daughter said were ones familiar to you in the times past." Once more there was no answer, only the flattened ears were eloquent and Sesshoumaru felt guilt, but that caused him to also feel anger at the strange feeling.

"You have only yourself to blame Inuyasha; I will not have my offspring learn such foul speech. I admit I should have asked if it were you she had learned from, but it was a forgivable mistake." Sesshoumaru found both his mother and brother just staring at him and then Inuyasha replied.

"I have not used bad language since I've been here you pompous, arrogant, stuck up bastard." His voice and words sounded strange as his mouth was not yet healed and Inuyasha shook his head gently, which made his head ache and his face changed to impassivity. "You will say goodbye to the pups for This Inuyasha. I am leaving in the morning to go back to the slayer village."

Inuyasha then lay down with his back to his brother and allowed only the Lady to stroke his forehead until he slept again. When he was asleep, propped on pillows until his nose and jaw fully healed, Sesshoumaru's mother just turned to the Daiyoukai and said;

"Congratulations, you have lost him; fancy blaming this episode on Inuyasha, I expect you didn't even give him a chance to defend himself. I am ashamed of you Sesshoumaru. You should leave and let the boy recover in peace."

TBC


	8. SURROGATE LIFE

8

SURROGATE LIFE

The next morning Sesshoumaru went to visit Inuyasha before breakfast knowing that the hanyou should have been almost fully recovered, physically at least. He did know too though, that it would be a long time before his brother was emotionally well again; Sesshoumaru understood his little brother more than he would admit. He was ashamed of himself and his loss of temper; in the past the Daiyoukai had not been quite so...brutal to Inuyasha, a fist through the gut notwithstanding; and even Yukaiko was aghast at what he had done to his sibling.

When he also considered that he had defensively blamed Inuyasha too for the attack, he realised he had been dishonest and was not treating his brother in the way he had been promised. He would never have considered battering any of his other bond marked responsibilities in such a way, or there would have been serious repercussions from their relatives and peoples. Inuyasha had nobody to call Sesshoumaru to account, or care about how badly he was treated; with the strange exception of Sesshoumaru's own mother.

She had seemed to care for the hanyou, finally seeing beyond the circumstances of his birth and liked him for who he was; even if she did still secretly see him as some form of superior pet. Therefore Sesshoumaru was obliged by duty if not by fraternal inclination, to offer his brother some form of apology. He was going to say that he regretted the actions that had caused the hanyou pain, because of Sesshoumaru's precipitous judgement.

On opening the door to Inuyasha's room, he immediately felt the difference; Inuyasha was not there, and neither were his possessions. Sesshoumaru was furious; why had the whelp not waited until his brother came, he could tell by Inuyasha's scent that the boy had not fully healed. In fact the pain and tears he could smell, bore testimony to his brother's fear; fear that Sesshoumaru might forbid him to leave, compelling him by means of the mark.

Inuyasha had actually left long before the dawn and long before he had healed properly, and then carrying his hastily packed basket, he had run to the village and his own hut. He flopped exhausted on his futon and lay getting his breath back. After a few minutes Miroku came in; he had awoken feeling his friend's aura just before he arrived, and knew that Inuyasha was upset in some way. He had brought a torch so that Inuyasha could have a fire, and by the light of it, he saw the state of the hanyou's face.

"It's alright Miroku; Sesshoumaru made a mistake and I paid for it, it could have been worse, but I had to leave. I've gotta go now for a while but I will be back; don't antagonise him when he comes looking for me O.K?"

"You need to stay, you have not yet recovered; Sesshoumaru will do nothing to you while Rin is around."

"Feh! I'm not afraid of him; I just gotta do something before I come back." He turned to leave and bumped into Sango and Rin, who had also come to see why Inuyasha had returned so early in the morning. Inuyasha blushed and tried to hide his face, but they both saw the healing bruises and knew that the hanyou had been beaten by his brother. Before they could fuss though, Inuyasha ran from the hut and out on his mission.

He found a hot spring and stripped to get in and enjoy the heat; letting it relax the tension from his aching body and soothe his bruises while he dozed. Then when he felt more presentable, he roused and left to gather a few wildflowers and visited the small memorial stone of his mother. He arranged the flowers and then sat back on his haunches and conjured the image of his mother from his memories. He told her all that he had been doing recently and that he had genuinely tried to do what she had wanted.

"I've tried Mama, I've tried really hard but it's no good; Sesshoumaru's gonna kill me one day if I stay there. For some reason I make him madder than anyone else and he don't listen to me. You said give it a good time to work if he ever wanted me to stay, I think I've done that enough now; he's never going to treat me like any brother I've ever seen. I think he just feels obligated in some way because of father, but he doesn't want me and he's never going to love me.

"He won't deliberately kill me but if something else did, he wouldn't care; not anymore, because he's given up his right to me. I'm feeling so tired Mama, but if I stay away I shall miss the little Sesshies; although they are going to grow away too. I think you'd find them cute and I know that Kagome would; they're too young to transform yet, but it won't be long.

"Father would be proud of them and Sesshoumaru; I mean what father wouldn't. I wish I could've given you grandpups; but then you and father would have known I couldn't before I was born, so's you'd not have been expecting any would you? I'm gonna go now, gotta get back to the village before Miroku sends out a search party. He worries about me I know, well they all do and it's nice in a way; I dunno, I suppose Miroku is like a brother to me really, he cares about me."

Before Inuyasha finished his soliloquy, he found himself suspended by his throat in the claws of an angry looking Sesshoumaru. The youkai gazed at his brother noting that the bruising on his face looked much better, and the scent of pain had greatly reduced; for which Sesshoumaru was grateful. But Inuyasha's face was full of apprehension and slight fear, which was exactly right as far as the elder of the two was concerned.

"You would claim this human lecherous monk as kin; linking him to and putting him above This Sesshoumaru in your heart?"

"Put me down; what do you care who I consider brother? You don't _want _a place in my heart; it's not pure enough for you. Miroku cares for me and I for him; it's nothing to do with you and no one would mistake you two for siblings. So stop being so dramatic; besides I wasn't talking to anyone so why were you eavesdropping?"

"Tell me Inuyasha, do you want this Miroku as brother more than you do This Sesshoumaru?" He got his answer as Inuyasha looked away, unable to meet his gaze; had the answer been 'yes' it would have been yelled defiantly at him, regardless of any repercussion. Sesshoumaru put Inuyasha down gently, but kept his grip on the boy.

"You will return with me to the Palace and we will overlook your disappearance against the mark."

"What the...I told you I was leaving and you didn't say I couldn't."

"I did not think you would be idiotic enough to leave so early; I was going to... ask you to stay that morning."

"I don't want to come back; it only makes life difficult for everyone."

"You will return; I understand it was your mother's own wish that you make a home within the West, you don't want to go against her desires for your safety now, do you?" Sesshoumaru had obviously overheard his brother speaking and was ruthless enough to use his knowledge. He saw Inuyasha's face harden and lose expression and Sesshoumaru was pleased, it meant that Inuyasha would go with him. But he hadn't liked the unnatural way Inuyasha adopted.

"You will act in your normal manner Inuyasha, not your assumed demeanour. It seems you mock true youkai when you put on airs and graces." That was not the reason, but Sesshoumaru couldn't quite work out what it was that disquieted him, when Inuyasha acted unlike himself; besides he had an ulterior motive too for needing Inuyasha back in the Palace, Yukaiko was expecting again.

Inuyasha was defeated on all grounds; so saying he needed to collect his basket again and say goodbye, the pair made their way back to the village. Sesshoumaru promised Rin that he would never lose his temper again with Inuyasha for no reason and that the hanyou would be safe; but he would not promise her to tell the boy that one day he might care for him. Rin had said it might make it easier for Inuyasha to be happy and stay, but Sesshoumaru refused to tell the lie to Inuyasha.

The hanyou was sullen and dejected on the journey this time, and Sesshoumaru was ignoring him completely; both were dissatisfied with the other, but there was a good welcome home from four highly excited pups on their return, and both brothers were treated the same for once. As he stepped through the doors to the Palace, Inuyasha was aware that the whole cycle had started again.

Several months later, Inuyasha was once again waiting with Sesshoumaru outside the birthing chamber; the older pups were thankfully with their tutors, when the second litter was born. They consisted of two boys and a girl and they were just as beautiful as their older siblings. Inuyasha congratulated the youkai couple on the birth of their infants, but with more warmth than he had done for the first litter. Then he and Sesshoumaru left Yukaiko to nurse the pups; however before they had been gone five minutes, the scent of blood was overpowering and had both of them rushing back to the nursery.

One of the male pups was dying swiftly, a puncture wound in his neck; Inuyasha flew to the baby's side and pressed his hand to the hole and then clamped it together until the pup's own youki could heal it. The hanyou's other hand was en guarde with his razor sharp claws at the ready, and his growls were loud and warned anybody from getting too close.

Sesshoumaru recognised that Inuyasha's youkai was near to the surface as his eyes swam between gold and red and he stopped his mate from approaching, until Inuyasha stood down. In the meantime he asked her why she had attempted to put her baby to death. Her answer was that she would never offer a substandard pup to her mate, and it was her right as its mother to dispose of it. The pup was obviously blind and Yukaiko refused point blank to nurse or care in any way for the reject.

"Give him to me Sesshoumaru; I will care for him." Inuyasha growled, his youkai making his voice deep and husky.

"You claim him by right of kinship Inuyasha?"

"Yes, whatever that means."

"It means that he is yours, as if your own pup; completely your responsibility."

"He is my pup."

"Very well; the pup is your son. I shall let it be known." Sesshoumaru then asked if he could approach, and on getting approval, he was also given the pup to hold. Yukaiko was incensed; she told her mate that he couldn't give the pup to Inuyasha; it was highly improper for a hanyou to raise a pureblood. Sesshoumaru explained that she should be silent, she had forfeited her right to the pup; then he promptly took the baby and pack marked him, even before Inuyasha could react.

"He is now safe; my thanks Inuyasha. I will see to it that you are provided with a wet nurse and nursery equipment. Should you require anything else, you must inform me."

"Feh! Then I require a healer for my son." Inuyasha stared at his brother and Sesshoumaru nodded, following him out and then taking him to the healer. He stayed with them both, until the healer pronounced the pup out of danger and the wet nurse was able to feed him. The Daiyoukai was sad, it was obvious from his aura and Inuyasha for once was able to speak to him, without his brother scorning his words.

"It wouldn't have mattered to you that the pup was blind, would it Sesshoumaru?"

"No, Inuyasha; does that surprise you?" There was no immediate answer to that, so he carried on, "I would have accepted him in the same way I do the others."

"You want him back; he's yours after all, what are you going to do about your mate?"

"I can do nothing, she was quite within her rights as a bitch; Yukaiko hadn't yet presented the pups to me and until she did so, they were her sole possession. He is not mine and I could give him to you only in my capacity as Lord, and because she had given him up by his intended death."

"You pack marked my son?"

"He is full youkai despite his lack of sight. Inuyasha, I was right to choose you to protect my children." Then Sesshoumaru left and Inuyasha felt lonely, it was the longest and most natural time they had spent together and proved to Inuyasha that they could speak as brothers.

There was great rejoicing at the feast for the safe arrival of the new pups and Inuyasha's pup was part of that celebration. Takahiro however couldn't be dressed in the same regalia as his blood siblings, he was now a descendent of Inuyasha; but his true father and Grandmother were not going to let anything stand in the child's way, even if he could not be acknowledged as theirs.

To Inuyasha the pup was little short of a miracle; Takahiro was his because he had given him life, by saving him, as well as adoption. And the hanyou felt no different than if he had sired the baby, despite the fact the pup was sporting the indigo crescent. The pup's lack of sight meant nothing, he had all his other senses and they would compensate; Inuyasha looked forward to teaching him.

As with the older pups, Inuyasha had a great deal of input with the new ones and as Sesshoumaru had specifically stated that Takahiro could play alongside his `cousins' and be trained with them too, there was no difficulty for anyone. Yukaiko was not satisfied; the pup living was a mockery as far as she was concerned, she was not a bad mother in any way to the others, but she was a purist and that included perfection in her offspring.

She would not go against her Lord Mate however, and was no danger anymore to Takahiro; but she showed no interest in him, unlike his natural father and grandmother. The pup was only separated when it was time for bed or when the Alpha family had time alone, otherwise Inuyasha was always there as guardian and therefore so was the blind pup.

Sesshoumaru of course, had access to great resources and eventually found someone who could help Takahiro to make sense of his dark world by teaching him to `see' with his scent and hearing. The pup was a fast learner and Inuyasha was eager to help him, as was the rest of his family; soon his blindness was no longer obvious, unless you could see his silvered, golden eyes. As Inuyasha devoted his time to Takahiro, it took away slightly the pain of the older pups who had started to show the tendency to speak down to their uncle.

Inuyasha had always suspected that they would be taught that hanyou were inferior, but he had hoped that they would retain their affection for him. However, as they heard how their mother spoke to him and saw the aloofness with which Sesshoumaru treated him, he supposed it would only be natural that they too would conform to the youkai superiority complex. But Takahiro made up for it, he was a loving child who always looked forward to snuggling down in Inuyasha's lap at the end of his busy day; ready for a song and story before he slept, safe in his father's arms.

The other pups all adored the blind pup, his handicap was hardly noticed and his charm was captivating; he was a treasure and a link for the two brothers. Inuyasha's human friends positively adored the boy, and laughed to see so many of Inuyasha's characteristics displayed by one who looked so like Sesshoumaru; proving he was the hanyou's son by nurture.

Of course as all the pups grew, there was no question of keeping it a secret that Takahiro was in fact Sesshoumaru and Yukaiko's biological pup; his scent proclaimed that he was genetically the sibling of the others. But there was no shame in his adoption either, the pups were all learning the importance of strength in youkai and how their world was run. So they all knew, including Takahiro, about the circumstances surrounding his birth and he never blamed his mother for her actions towards him.

He was a surprisingly easy going pup and eventually even Yukaiko started to treat him in the same way she did her own again, and a strange relationship built up between them, rather like had happened between Sesshoumaru's mother and Inuyasha. She was the closest to a mother figure that the young pup had. Inuyasha saw all of this, but he didn't stop his son from forming any relationship that he could with his siblings and blood family; he wouldn't become a hypocrite by denying his pup the same relationship he had so longed for with his own brother.

The years passed in peace and happiness for the Alpha family, as well as (in the main) for the father and son on the edge. There were no more regrettable incidents between the older brothers, but Inuyasha had given up on hoping for any more improvement than civility in their lives. Takahiro was soon in school the same as all his siblings, and it was discovered he had a great and useful gift along with outstanding intelligence.

With unerring accuracy, he always picked out the false trail or disguised youki or aura in their training; superseding first his older siblings, and then his teachers, even the most experienced. So impressed were they that Sesshoumaru agreed to take the pup into some important meetings. Takahiro could identify the more nervous, flustered and deceitful, without fail; even in a room full of people. His hearing and scenting abilities were second to none; almost overcompensating for his loss of sight, and over the years these were honed and he became indispensible in intense meetings as Sesshoumaru's secret advisor.

No one outside the family suspected that the blind child was of any real value; merely indulged because of his seeming handicap. But Takahiro had found his worth in his own eyes and the eyes of the rest of the family; he would never be seen as a permanent dependent now, he could hold his head up proudly with the rest on equal footing. Even Sesshoumaru and Yukaiko had praised his abilities; and as for Inuyasha, it none of it mattered, he just loved his pup.

TBC


	9. A SON'S LIFE

9

A SON'S LIFE

Inuyasha was proud of his pup and had never regretted risking his own life to save Takahiro from the angry Inu bitch that Sesshoumaru mated. What was more interesting was that both his natural parents were grateful as well, as even Yukaiko had eventually come round. As the years progressed even further, there were invitations to functions for the young family; the pups were all still pre-adolescent according to youkai aging, but now old enough to socialise and be looked after by babysitters if the parents wished to stay up.

The only trouble was that Takahiro was not invited because he was Inuyasha's son and Inuyasha was not welcome either, even as guardian for his brother's pups. Sesshoumaru couldn't risk such a grave insult by bringing Inuyasha anyway; it might be taken that he was suggesting that his host's guards were insufficient for the task, when others would be conforming. At first this didn't matter to the youngest pup; he and Inuyasha would always find things to do together, including visiting the human settlement where Takahiro could train and was always spoiled with sweets and cakes.

But naturally after several of these excursions by the Alpha family and hearing all about the exciting places and peoples, the dances and banquets, games and outings from his true siblings, Takahiro began to get broody as to why he couldn't go with them. He of course, didn't see the politics; he couldn't go where he was uninvited and he was Inuyasha's son not Sesshoumaru's. Inuyasha's heart bled for his boy, he remembered all too well being unwelcome and excluded; but he could not sway his brother either.

It all came to a nasty head one evening after another week long trip away; Takahiro heard as his siblings came in chattering with one another, he waited as the finery was put away until next time and he listened as some of the pups spun one another around in their dance interpretation. The pup was seething and some of his real father's old problem, jealousy, reared its ugly head. He clenched his fists and marched towards Sesshoumaru.

"It's not fair; I should be allowed to go too." Tears ran down his face and Sesshoumaru was gentle with the boy, at least the pup wasn't shouting.

"No, it is not fair, but there is nothing to be done I'm afraid. You will be able to attend the next gathering as it will be here."

"There's nothing new here; I'm full youkai, why should I be treated like this? You should never have given me to Inuyasha; I am a youkai's son, not a hanyou's. I will never amount to anything if I stay like this."

"Had Inuyasha not been a hanyou, he would not have been motivated to give you your life back and you would not be concerned now about anything. He is your father and deserves your respect."

"Well I wish he wasn't; I wish I wasn't blind and that you wanted me as your son."

"I did want you, but you are old enough to know how these things work; your mother regrets her actions, but they are done now."

"Can't you re-adopt me or something?"

"I will do no such thing, you owe my brother your life, not me; I did not try to save you. You have made me proud now and I would be glad to have you as my son; but it was Inuyasha who gave you your life back and it is him you call father."

When Takahiro got back to his suite his father was absent and didn't return for the evening meal with the rest of the family. Sesshoumaru inquired about the hanyou and got told that his son hadn't seen him since they all got back that afternoon. The Daiyoukai wasn't worried per se; Inuyasha could have taken a trip to the human village, he didn't need permission any longer to go there. But the youkai was uneasy and by bedtime Takahiro was put to bed in the same nursery area as his siblings and Sesshoumaru was out looking for his brother.

It was not until he cursed the darkness in the shadows that he fully realised that there was no moon and if Inuyasha was outside, he was human. Inuyasha was not far away, but he was well hidden and out cold in one of the ornamental flower beds beneath a tall tree; the side of his face was bruised by the fall from a branch where he hit a stone in the border. It was obvious too that he had been crying; the scent was unmistakable and Sesshoumaru cursed; clearly Inuyasha had heard his son speaking earlier.

Sesshoumaru picked up his unconscious human brother and carried him to the healer; who pronounced him concussed and said he would be fine but have a headache in the morning. He would need to be watched carefully that night however, humans could be unpredictable with a head injury. Sesshoumaru said that he would stay with his brother as he was human, he might be troubled to find anyone else overseeing him on his vulnerable night.

So he waited, and knew exactly when Inuyasha passed from unconscious to normal sleep; and also when a few hours later, he woke up. Inuyasha became aware that he was no longer in a tree but in the dark and in a bed and then he remembered why he'd been in the tree in the first place. His world once again had crashed around him and thinking he was alone, he buried his head in the pillow and wept.

For once Sesshoumaru had the forbearance not to comment on either his little brother's weakness, or his humanity; he actually recognised that the boy had the right to these tears. The Daiyoukai made a slight sound so that Inuyasha would know that he was there, and then came to him offering a cup of tea laced with painkilling herbs for the headache his brother surely had. Inuyasha drank the potion and wiped his eyes.

"You overheard the boy did you not Inuyasha?"

"Feh!"

"He did not mean all he said, the pup was upset and hitting out, without due consideration of his words."

"He meant them...he sounded exactly like you; I've heard the tone of voice so often before Sesshoumaru, I can't mistake it. I don't blame him; I can't give him all he is entitled too."

"You gave him life Inuyasha; he will gain more as he grows."

"Yeah, I heard you defend me, thanks. But..." Inuyasha's voice choked with emotion and he couldn't finish.

"You are distraught pup, this will look far better in the morning. Rest now; I shall stay until the healer comes in the morning.

"Don't let him know I heard; please Sesshoumaru, don't tell him."

"Very well; now sleep Little Brother." Sesshoumaru watched as the drug took effect and lulled his brother into healing sleep and he was still watching when the sunrise bleached the black locks, silver again. An hour later, the healer checked Inuyasha and told him to stay in bed for the morning; his golden eyes were not reacting quite correctly yet, indicating that there may still be some healing left to do. Then he had not gone by five minutes when the door barged open and Takahiro came in; he flew into Inuyasha's arms;

"Papa where were you, I missed you last night."

"I went for a walk and fell out of the tree; I am alright now as you can see. I'll be down at lunchtime Takahiro, don't worry." Sesshoumaru admired Inuyasha's acting skills, but then thought that of course the hanyou wasn't acting, he loved his son and would always do the best for him. Takahiro however was sniffing around Inuyasha's hair.

"I smell salt Papa; you cried?"

"I fell out of the tree and it hurt."

"Youkai don't fall out of trees Papa, and they don't cry if they do." The pup pompously asserted with the certainty of youth, and then remembered what night it had been. "Oh, you were human, he said and both Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru heard the slightly scornful tone. Inuyasha closed his eyes against the mental pain, it had started for sure.

But at the moment Takahiro was genuinely worried and upset that his papa was here in the healing rooms. His scent clearly showed that he was not lying when he claimed Inuyasha as his Papa either, so perhaps Sesshoumaru was right as well this time; or at least while the fright was still on the pup. Sesshoumaru could see that Inuyasha was on edge and so he told Takahiro to leave and he would see his papa at lunch.

There was no repeat incident after that and Takahiro seemed to have accepted the inevitable for the time being, but it preyed on Inuyasha's mind. He knew that the boy longed to be part of his natural family and it was Inuyasha who was stopping it; perhaps he could persuade Sesshoumaru that he would be willing to revoke the adoption. It would not be easy, Sesshoumaru was honourable and that included in the matter of the bonding his son to Inuyasha.

It proved to be impossible; Sesshoumaru could not undo the adoption and refused point blank to even consider depriving Inuyasha of his son. Inuyasha was grateful and yet exasperated with this, the problem remained unsolved. So Inuyasha decided that instead of keeping his son with him when he went anywhere or did anything, more and more he sacrificed his own time and desires, to make sure that Takahiro was around his blood family and not feeling so left out.

There was great excitement for the banquet and dance to be held in the Palace later that month. Takahiro was positively jumping around because he was to have first pick at choice in kimono. This would be his first proper silk kimono and he was driving everyone mad as they tried to describe colours and patterns to someone who couldn't see, while he couldn't make up his mind. In the end he settled on one Inuyasha picked out, after promising him it looked like the one Sesshoumaru preferred.

Inuyasha had one in white and red with black trimmings; it too was new and something that Inuyasha had not much cause to wear, but he did like the feel and weight of silk. While they all stood in the entrance hall awaiting their guests, the pups were chattering away in loud whispers; although Sesshoumaru thought that his brother looked rather paler than he usually did. The red with the black though were probably draining him of his colour.

The first coach was heard on the approach and Sesshoumaru called Takahiro to stand beside his father, but the pup objected; wishing rather to stand alongside his siblings than on his own with Inuyasha. He did not wish to be seen as different and separate and said while staring blindly at his adopted father, _'I want to stay with the youkai, not the hanyou.' _

It was the first time Takahiro had made a deliberate attempt to hurt Inuyasha and his face showed the shame he felt when he'd said the awful words; but he had succeeded, Inuyasha bowed to him and Sesshoumaru and left the hallway. He didn't return to the party. Yukaiko came up and spoke softly to Takahiro but everyone heard her;

"That was spoken like a true youkai, however ungracious you were to your foster father; it is obvious to all who your true father is. Sesshoumaru, he sounds just as you do."

"Thank you My Lady, but I never was so disrespectful of my father." Sesshoumaru replied; as a little voice inside his head said, _'but you often have been of Inuyasha.'_ He too spoke to his natural son; "Inuyasha is more than generous Takahiro; I would have taken you away and beaten manners into you, I might also be considering whether it had been worth my while in giving you life. However Inuyasha is far more loving than This Sesshoumaru and will stay caring for you with all his heart. You do not deserve his devotion." _'Any more than I do.'_ He finished again in his head.

Takahiro was too happy to be remorseful, besides hadn't he been taught by his masters that youkai were superior, and he was youkai; blindness did not stop his abilities, therefore why should he still be thought of as substandard as a hanyou. The pup was still only a child and had no real idea of how cruel he had sounded, but there was no one to tell him that he was in the wrong, because no one really believed he was. Sesshoumaru scolded him for his rudeness, but that was something he would grow out of naturally.

Inuyasha meantime was in his rooms being violently sick before visiting the healer. He had changed out of his finery and into his normal relaxing kimono because he knew he would have to be examined yet again. The healer was now familiar with the sight of Inuyasha, for six months the hanyou had needed to see him; this was the first time he had vomited however.

"The disease in your blood progresses My Lord."

"You know what is happening now?"

"Yes, your human blood is strong but is sick; it fights the youkai element, of course it would not win but for the fact it progresses alarmingly quickly on your human night, which is not being countered by you becoming youkai in order for your youki to balance again. You must tell Lord Sesshoumaru soon so that he can help you."

"No, I have decided not to go through that."

"You must My Lord, soon it will be too late and only Lord Sesshoumaru can help you release your youkai safely. It is needed to balance the blood or else you will die."

"I lose myself when I become youkai; my whole reasoning goes, and I shall be left demented."

"Your brother can help you, you know he will do?"

"Yes...how long before my hanyou self is overwhelmed by my human blood?"

"At this rate you have maybe four more moons then you will die; if you do not accept the help. The sickness will get worse too."

"I still have time to decide; I forbid you to tell Sesshoumaru or anyone." Inuyasha walked out; he had decided what to do and it didn't involve anyone else. Firstly, he had to repair the damage his sickness had caused and to get rid of all traces as best he could. Hopefully any demands as to why the aroma of sickness lingered could be explained by that evening's episode.

When Takahiro finally came back to the suite, he found his futon turned down for bed and his bath ready as always and Inuyasha asked him if he wanted anything else before he retired for the night. The boy didn't, but he also stayed hanging around. Eventually he came out with what was on his mind;

"Do you hate me Papa?" He said quietly and meekly. Inuyasha brushed the boy's fringe away from his crescent moon and sighed.

"I could never hate you my son; I love you far too much."

"I don't understand."

"I know, and that is a sadness all of its own. I have never hated Sesshoumaru and he has done and said far more hurtful things than you have ever done. Your mother is right, you are like him. Go to your bath and bed, you need your sleep."

"I love you Papa."

"I know." But when the pup was asleep, Inuyasha let his tears flow; how long before his son would become just the same as his true father and stop loving him altogether? In the morning though, everything was back to normal, except that Inuyasha was aware of his brother discreetly sniffing in his direction.

"You are well Inuyasha?"

"I am fine at the moment thank you Sesshoumaru; I was a tad nauseous last evening." He replied somewhat hesitantly and Sesshoumaru nodded; he wasn't surprised, but he commented.

"No doubt a reaction; probably caused by your human sensibilities. I had thought you looked pale." Sesshoumaru saw an embarrassed blush flit over his brother's face and reprimanded himself, the boy had had a lot to put up with recently; he didn't need the Daiyoukai bringing it to the attention of everyone else. Once again Inuyasha left the company early and left his son with the rest of the family and he went to rest on his bed. The illness was taking its toll on the hanyou, but as long as he had sufficient rest he could contain who found out.

While he was resting he also thought hard, and he had firmed a decision that he had come to before. He was going to let his illness run its course; he had no reason to risk his sanity or hear any scathing comments on his uncontrolled, human polluted youkai. There was no one who would grieve at his passing beyond his human friends, who were aging themselves; and he could legitimately hand Takahiro back to his parents and the pup would be in his rightful place.

All in all, it was fortuitous that he had this sickness in his blood; he would never have taken his own life but he would not prolong it either. He had no regrets and from then on faced his human nights with only slight apprehension. There was no real pain; his youkai being strong enough to help with that, but the weakness became more and more manifest. After two months it became noticeable to Sesshoumaru that his brother seemed lethargic and lacking in stamina.

"You are ill Inuyasha. Do not think to lie to me." He stated to his brother one evening when they were alone for once, Sesshoumaru having made sure there would be no one to hear them.

"Perhaps." Was the unnerving reply.

"You will see the healer at once."

"I have been seeing him for over half a year brother."

"Six months, you have been ill that long and never mentioned this to anyone?"

"Who would be interested in a tired hanyou Sesshoumaru? He gives me tonics; pep talks, good advice, everything I need."

"Yet it does not seem to cure you?"

"Some things take time to cure."

"Let me know if there is anything you need Inuyasha, I would not have you ill, if there is something This Sesshoumaru can do to stop it."

"Thanks Sesshoumaru; I appreciate it." And he did, it was almost as if Sesshoumaru cared about him and not just his appearance in his household. In fact, Sesshoumaru was concerned, and he made sure that Inuyasha ate properly; taking personal interest in the type and excellence of the food served, hoping it would strengthen the hanyou from within. Perhaps it did because Inuyasha saw out his fourth moon without the dire predictions from the healer coming true.

TBC


	10. REGRETTED LIFE

10

REGRETTED LIFE

Inuyasha tried hard to fight the growing fatigue that threatened to consume him daily; using the rest of his strength to put on a good face to everyone. It was a source of personal pride that years and years of neglect and self reliance from a small pup onwards, was as training for this; the end of that life. His self discipline kept him going until he was able to retire at a reasonable time each night, and no one was that interested in him, only noticing him if he was absent; as Takahiro was now sleeping in the same rooms as his real siblings.

It was as the sixth month was nearing the darkest night, that Inuyasha felt the change; felt his energy drain to its lowest ebb and he knew that this was the night he wouldn't recover. He was calm however, a sense almost of relief soothing his mind as he sat down to write his final notes, one to his brother and one to Takahiro. These he left on his desk with his box from Totousai and Tessaiga, before he curled on his futon and wrapped himself in Kagome's kimono; clutching to his breast his most precious treasures.

They consisted of the little red ball from his mother and one of her hair combs, a ribbon of Kikyou's, a couple of photos of the shard hunting group with Kaede, and the heart shaped locket Kagome gave him. Then there was the bond of adoption letter, sealed in the blood of the brothers and also a drab leather lace that Sesshoumaru would recognise; it was the Daiyoukai's for when he tied his hair to bathe and he had given it to the tiny Inuyasha to look after one day. The pup had claimed to have lost it, earning a hard swatting for doing so. Now Sesshoumaru would find out that the lace had not been lost at all, but squirreled away amongst his little brother's treasures.

Inuyasha was comfortable and contented, surrounded by his memories; he was unafraid for the first time ever of his human night and relaxed completely. His sleep was restful although not refreshing, as his human blood warred inside him; but there was no pain and Inuyasha was only dimly aware that he had survived the night as his youki returned. Sadly though, the transformation took the end of his strength and he breathed his last; peacefully and easily, leaving on a sigh.

Inuyasha never knew that his brother burst in, seconds too late to say goodbye, and breaking down the doors, as he felt the youki dissipate. He never knew that Tenseiga was swung several times uselessly across his body; not able to bring back the life that didn't want another chance at a loveless existence. He didn't hear the howl for the Dowager mother from the son, as he held his brother's limp body in his arms; or her sad denial that the Meidouseki she wore, would work on someone that Tenseiga could not revive a first time.

He never knew that his few tender words of love for his son and his bequest that all he owned with the exception of Tessaiga, was to go to the pup; filled the child with such remorse, that he was never again harsh with someone's feelings, or biased against what they were. Nor did he know that the boy had to be dragged gently from his body, and that he wept inconsolably for days after. In fact exactly as his true father had done for Inu no Taishou; Takahiro cried in the arms of his grandmother who had held her own son in exactly the same way years before.

No one knew what happened when Sesshoumaru sent everyone away and spoke to his brother's spirit; or when he read the letter that asked Sesshoumaru to give his love to any who cared. No one knew how Sesshoumaru felt when he read that Inuyasha had always loved his brother, even though he knew it was unreciprocated and unwelcome. No one was there when Sesshoumaru gently stroked the fluffy puppy ears that no longer twitched or gave away their owner's thoughts and emotions, and didn't flatten against his head when the youkai hissed angrily, that he had not given permission for Inuyasha to leave him.

The healer was summoned and bore with the Daiyoukai's fierce anger that he had not been told of the seriousness of his brother's illness with stoic calm;

"Lord Inuyasha did not wish for any to know that the illness could be terminal."

"Why was this; why would he have kept This Sesshoumaru from understanding?"

"Lord Inuyasha didn't inform me of his reasons; all I know is that something in his human blood was killing him."

"How would he get such a disease in the blood?"

"I do not understand the details, but he told me that Lady Kagome warned him that some diseases from where she lived could be dangerous to him. I understand that, whereas her native people could be immune, travellers would have no such protection in some instances; it was one of the reasons she did not like him to stay for long. Lord Inuyasha told me all of this, when I asked him to let you know so that he could be cured."

"There was a cure? Inform me of what could have been done."

"There was a cure, one with risk certainly, but one I felt would have been justified. He would have needed to release his youkai for measured amounts of time to counter the progression of the human blood on his mortal night; I had hopes that it could even eradicate the sickness. For this he would have required you to help him control his youkai."

"Inuyasha surely did not doubt that I would do this?"

"No, My Lord; he knew you would be willing. As I have said, I do not know the full reasons the boy had for refusing, he would not tell me; but he had seemed willing to try when I first diagnosed him, when he was just pale and sometime fatigued."

"You may not know, but you can make an educated guess."

"Very well, on my observations and things the boy didn't realise he had let slip; he was afraid to let his youkai out, but he was still considering it at one point, even though he felt it would have meant your scorn and mockery for his humanity. Something though changed his mind, and he decided to let nature take its course." The healer could guess what that was too, but chose to let the Daiyoukai work it out for himself.

Sesshoumaru went to re-read his brother's letter and found a most distraught Myouga calling Inuyasha to awaken. The Daiyoukai ignored the flea and read the letter again; he read of his brother's love for him and the family and the commission Inuyasha had left, for him to tell his friends that Inuyasha had died happy. He then read the bequests; he had left Tessaiga to Sesshoumaru, the little bracelets still in the box were for any further pups his brother sired, and last but most certainly not least, his request that Sesshoumaru and Yukaiko adopt his son Takahiro as one of their children."

And that was the reason Sesshoumaru knew without a doubt, why Inuyasha had refused to fight for his life. He had not been afraid for himself, or afraid of his youkai or his family's ridicule; Inuyasha was never afraid, except on his human night and even that he had faced alone and dying. No, it was the only way that Takahiro would get what he truly wanted; a place back in his original family. Inuyasha had made the ultimate sacrifice that a parent could do for their child; he had died so that his son could live the life he should never have lost.

Sesshoumaru replaced the letter and turned his attention to the small flea who was muttering about how he failed his late, great master, his hanyou son was dead. Surely the old faithful servant could have prevented this tragedy in some way; what use was he now, just an old flea? Something in the tiny old man's voice rang warning bells in the Daiyoukai's mind; he turned to Myouga and told him that his servitude had not ended with Inuyasha's death, as he had been bequeathed to Takahiro.

It was an act of kindness that Sesshoumaru had not expected to do and just happened, but he didn't regret his decision. By now he could hear general sounds of disbelief and mourning from his pups and also members of his household; Inuyasha would have been most surprised that even many of the youkai servants had grown to admire him and were greatly saddened that he had died. Sesshoumaru looked once more on the unnaturally still form of his baby brother.

Now the boy's face was in repose, he couldn't help but see how young the hanyou had been and notice the quiet that was so wrong on Inuyasha; he should be vibrant and noisy, full of life, not cooling and dead. Those stupid ears should be moving; twitching, catching every sound, alert even in the boy's sleep, not still, never still. Sesshoumaru ran his finger over the tips again but there was nothing, no flick of annoyance or gentle incline of the head to invite more petting; Sesshoumaru's anger surged again.

"You stupid pup; you are so disobedient, who is there now that This Sesshoumaru can trust as implicitly as he does you? How dare you leave your son to grieve; you are always doing stupid things without consulting your elders? You must come back; you can't stay away, I order you...please." With that Sesshoumaru swiped Tenseiga over Inuyasha's body again and held his breath until he realised that Inuyasha hadn't heard him.

Sesshoumaru barely noticed when his mother entered the room; she went over to the body of the hanyou and stroked his hair.

"So this is what your brother would look like if it had been you who had killed him Sesshoumaru?"

"Those days were past mother, as you well know."

"Yet he has refused Tenseiga; perhaps we convinced him too well that he was beneath everyone and was not really wanted."

"Your meaning Mother?"

"It is clear Sesshoumaru; no one cared enough about him, we all used him and he didn't want to stay. It is plainly obvious. I take it he has given Takahiro back to you?" She left her son once more to his thoughts. Was it true that he hadn't cared about Inuyasha? He did not know the answer to that; at least not one he would admit. All that was certain was there would be no more perky puppy ears, no more vibrant and expressive golden eyes; no more Inuyasha, who could look at him as an equal without backing down.

No more silly whelp trying to please him or looking to him for acceptance, in the way that his own younger pups looked to the older ones; the boy had given up completely. No more rash and irrepressible actions that marked Inuyasha out as different to any youkai, who usually acted more deliberately; in short, no more little brother. Sesshoumaru for once was at a loss as he realised, he couldn't yet accept the inevitable evidence before his own eyes. But during the day nothing changed concerning Inuyasha and there were now pressing matters to attend to.

Sesshoumaru took the news himself to the village and remained stoically unmoved, as disbelief gave way to certainty and then bereavement, as the relevant parts of the letter was read. He waited for calm before inviting them to attend the funeral, and any who wished to come would be made welcome. Then he left for the bleak lands to make a personal visit to Totousai. The youkai smith already knew of Inuyasha's passing and for once was completely lucid when spoken too; he didn't think the Daiyoukai had a long fuse at the moment.

"I know the pup has passed on Lord Sesshoumaru; Tessaiga mourns his passing, as it did with Tenseiga when your father died. I have no doubt that the boy passed it on to you and by doing so, Tessaiga allows you to handle it."

"This Sesshoumaru has not yet picked it up. I come to ask you for a commission, will you think on my request?"

"I will; I have something that may interest you here already, care to look?"

"Very well." Sesshoumaru followed the smith into his forge and was offered a box; exquisite in design and although made of metal and stone it was not overly heavy. Gold filigree in intricate patterns overlaid precious onyx, jade and opal that created iridescent swirls under the overlay and in the light. Sesshoumaru was astounded and it showed on his face for an instant.

"How would you know that this is exactly what This Sesshoumaru would have had you make?"

"I did not at first and I didn't make it for you. I made it for the other pup so that his sentimental treasures could have a place worthy of them. Load of rubbish that he carried everywhere, but they were important to him."

"You know about his treasures?"

"I saw them several times; he showed them to me when he was a small whelp, said he wished he had somewhere nice to put them. I made him the box, but then he was sealed to Goshinboku and I never did get to give it to him. Still, that is what you are here for isn't it; you are going to put his things in the box? It was the swords that told me, both of them knew you had preserved his things and that you wanted somewhere to put them."

Sesshoumaru took the box and pondered on the uncanny relationship the smith had with the swords he made; and knowing there were many things he had still to understand about the aged smith who was far deeper than he seemed. He next had to visit Bokusenou who he found had also heard the news, via the plants and trees all the way from the Palace, and he too had a gift for Sesshoumaru.

His gift was a beautifully turned urn, made from the wood of his branches and this too had been made in advance in case Inuyasha had died earlier. The wood's barrier guaranteed that no one could disturb the ashes of the one encased within and would keep its looks if it were to be displayed. Bokusenou was unsurprised at Tenseiga's failure; he'd known Inuyasha all of his life and knew the boy's heart more than anyone.

"I heard him many times Lord Sesshoumaru, he would talk at night or anytime he was alone. The trees and plants even the grass, brings me their news. Your brother was a simple soul; he never wanted power or possessions, all he ever desired was love and acceptance and to not be alone, a need common to all, even high Daiyoukai."

"My brother was hanyou; it was not his lot in life to be accepted by any."

"That would not stop the desire or need however, and besides the pup found a home with his mate but when she died, it never happened again."

"He had a home Bokusenou." Sesshoumaru was annoyed when he received no reply and spoke again. "This Sesshoumaru provided a home."

"Certainly you provided shelter, but Inuyasha always felt he was an obligation and inadequate. He thought he was considered a disappointment and he certainly never felt at home in his father's house. Inuyasha actually asked very little from his only family, but he never got it, did he; at least, not enough to wish to stay, or come back to you? I fear Lord Sesshoumaru, you will miss that little hanyou in many ways; now that he is no more and it is too late for you to change his perspective on his life." The old Magnolia tree then dismissed Sesshoumaru by withdrawing his face and the Daiyoukai was left to dwell on his words for many years to come.

When it came time for the pup's funeral too, Inuyasha would have been astonished at the number of beings who were genuinely grieved that he had died. All the humans from the village had turned up; walking in solemn procession along with Shippou, Kouga and his friends were also in evidence along with the entire household of the Western Palace. Myouga and Totousai were together and the very trees whispered to Bokusenou sombrely, murmuring miserably in memory of the forest child who would no longer make his home and playground high in their canopy.

Eventually everyone left for the hospitality of the Western Palace, everyone except Sesshoumaru who stood silent and aloof; his face like stone. It was all so final; his baby brother was truly gone now and to his surprise, Sesshoumaru felt despondent. The hanyou had been so much a part of his life that it was hard to imagine he would no longer see or speak with the boy, let alone spar or argue. No more would his brother's childish actions and personality light up the Palace and bring a breath of fresh air to the sometimes staid halls.

Strangely Sesshoumaru felt an aching loneliness, the unpleasant feeling made worse when he considered that Inuyasha had often felt this way, and indeed had been alone on the night he died. But thankfully for the Daiyoukai's state of mind, the boy had not smelt of fear, although he had obviously known that he was dying; but he had thought that nobody would have stayed with him and again Sesshoumaru felt a blaze of rage born of sorrow. He hated this feeling of gloom and uncertainty that had descended over everyone and once again berated Inuyasha in his mind for causing the misery he saw all around.

How dare the pup leave them all, how dare he go when he could have stayed; how selfish could one person be? The anger of grief left finally and the feeling of emptiness increased, as darkness crept over the land; leaving the glow of the byre shining as a beacon of Inuyasha's lost hope. Sesshoumaru wondered how was it possible that he felt so bereft, when he had a mate and pups waiting for his return. How was it that part of his soul felt that it had died along with his brother?

Inuyasha also would never have believed in the lone tear that spilled down the porcelain cheek of his brother from the wells in his eyes. _'You damned little fool Inuyasha, how could you not know how I really felt about you.'_ Then he had to answer for himself, causing another jolt, as no familiar acerbic rejoinder was forthcoming, nor would do again; _'How would you have known, because I never told you or let you know in any way; did I even know myself until now? But I did love you Inuyasha, you were my brother. This Sesshoumaru regrets it is too late to tell you.'_

Finally he too left the site of his brother's funeral; the ashes would be gathered and interred in the urn in the morning and guards took up positions around the bier as Sesshoumaru left. He was met by Takahiro who looked a mess and together the two who had caused the most pain to Inuyasha and yet was loved the most by the hanyou, went inside, united in grief that was mainly unspoken, but that both understood.

They had both lost the same someone who was irreplaceable to them; life would never be the same, and the emptiness could never be completely filled by anyone else. Inuyasha had carved out his own niche in their hearts; it was such a shame that he had never been aware, had he believed that it would matter to anyone, he might have asked for his brother's help and still been alive. But he had lived with derision all of his life and finally believed it himself; and now he was free.

Life carried on and many years passed, the West prospered under Sesshoumaru's rule even when the youkai adopted disguises so that they could blend in with the more numerous human inhabitants around the world. Sesshoumaru often secretly kept watch at the shrine during the short time that Inuyasha and Kagome were on their journey, and he marvelled at them as they jumped in and out of the well, arguing or laughing; they were only children and he had been so cruel.

One day however there was a private ceremony, attended by the family of the Western Lands, the alpha wolves of the Northern Territories and a kitsune with emerald eyes. The kitsune had been charged from early on to keep an eye on Kagome's grave through the years, and was instructed by Sesshoumaru to buy up the land when it came up for sale on his behalf. No one was sure of what Midoriko had meant all that time ago, but the land of the slayer's old village was always in possession of the West.

Then suddenly the grave had appeared in the same place, but with a more modern marker stone and this was taken as the signal that Kagome had fully been returned to her natural time. Hence the ceremony; a new stone had been ordered and two more small caskets were added to the Miko's grave. One contained the ashes of Inuyasha and the other his mother; her little stone marker had crumbled into unrecognisable dust and so she had been reverently removed, until such time as she and her son could be re-united.

The marker now read;

Here lie three,

beloved of each other,

greatly missed by family and friends.

To the memory of

Izayoi

Kagome and Inuyasha

Together Again.

THE END


End file.
